Tag Archives: application

Prayers for Your Children (and Grandchildren!)

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One of my favorite ways to help new moms get off to a great start praying for their children is to create a roll of index cards that feature one verse from scripture they can pray for their child every day.  I actually got the idea for doing this from a grandmother in Vermont who kept a similar roll on her dining room table so she could pray one verse each day for her grandchildren.

The beauty of this ~ you don’t have to spend hours in prayer to have a significant eternal impact in the lives of your children and grandchildren!  Slow and steady wins the race!

And I love how this gets us beyond praying for more temporal needs (not at all to say those aren’t important!) but praying God’s Word can really help us invest strategically in the lives of those we love.

Years ago Jerry Bridges wrote an article entitled, “Engaging The Unseen Foe”  and in it he utilizes military terms to challenge us to not just pray about logistics but also about things that are tactical and strategic – and how key especially those strategic prayers are for God’s kingdom advancing. I’ll re-post that article at the end of this post in case you’d like to read it!  What an huge impact this has made on the way I pray!  As well as on my life and the lives of those I’m praying for!

Now there are a ton of verses you can use for prayer – in fact, one dear friend and I are praying straight through the Scriptures each week as we walk and pray for our husbands.  We take turns reading verses through a chapter, stopping when the Lord prompts us to pray for something related to that verse for our husbands and children.  So far we’ve prayed our way through Ephesians, Luke, Acts, and are now praying through the book of Romans.  You can pick up a Bible anytime, anywhere and do this!

But having some verses in a ready to use (ready to pray!) format can really facilitate this happening.  Years ago, in Pray! Magazine a format for 31 days of praying for your children was published that I often use as the basis for my roll of index cards, adapting the format so I can personalize it for the child being prayed for.

1.       Salvation: “Lord, let salvation spring up within _______ that he may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory” Isaiah 45:8 and II Timothy 2:10

2.       Growth in Grace: I pray that ________may “grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.” II Peter 3:18

3.       Love: Grant, Lord, that ________ may learn to live a life of love through your Holy Spirit. Eph. 5:2 and Gal. 5:22

4.       Honesty and Integrity: May honesty and integrity be ________’s virtue and protection. Ps 25:21

5.       Self Control: Father, help _______ not to be like many others around him, but let him be “alert and self controlled” in all he does. I Thes 5:6

6.       A Love for God’s Word: May ___________ grow to find your word “more precious than gold, than much pure gold, (and) sweeter than honey, than honey from the comb.” Ps 19:10

7.       Justice: God, help _________ to love justice as you do and to “act justly” in all he does. Ps 11:7 and Micah 6:8

8.       Mercy: May ____________ always “be merciful as (his) Father is merciful.” Luke 6:36

9.       Respect (for self, others and authority): Father, grant that __________ may “show proper respect to everyone” as your Word commands. I Peter 2:17

10.   Biblical Self Esteem: Help _____________ develop a strong self esteem that is rooted in the realization that he is “God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus.” Eph 2:10

11.   Faithfulness: Let love and faithfulness never leave _________but bind these twin virtues around his neck and write them on the tablet of his heart. Prov. 3:3

12.   A Passion for God: Lord, please instill in _____________a soul with a craving for you, a heart that clings passionately to you. Ps 63:8

13.   Responsibility: Grant that ___________ may learn responsibility “for each one should carry their own load.” Gal. 6:5

14.   Kindness: Lord, may _________ “always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.” I Thes 5:15

15.   Generosity: Grant that ___________ may “be generous and willing to share and so lay up treasure for himself as a firm foundation for the coming age.” I Tim 6: 18-19

16.   Peace-loving:  Let ___________ “make every effort to do what leads to peace.” Ro. 14:19

17.   Hope: May the God of hope grant _________ to overflow with hope and hopefulness by the power of the Holy Spirit. Ro. 15:13

18.   Perseverance: Lord, teach ____________ perseverance in all he does. And help him especially to “run with perseverance the race marked out him.” Hebrews 12:1

19.   Humility: Lord, please cultivate in _________ the ability to “show true humility toward all.” Titus 3:2

20.   Compassion: Lord, please clothe___________ with the virtue of compassion. Gal. 3:12

21.   Prayerfulness: Grant Lord, that _____________’s life may be marked by prayerfulness, that he may learn to “pray in the spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.” Eph. 6:18

22.   Contentment: Father, teach ______________ “the secret of being content in any and every situation…through you who gives (him) strength.” Phil. 4:12-13

23.   Faith: I pray that faith will find root and grow in ________’s heart, that by faith he may gain what has been promised to him. Luke 17:5-6 and Heb 11:1-40

24.   A Servant’s Heart: Lord, please help ______________ develop a servant’s heart, that he may serve wholeheartedly “as if (he) was serving the Lord, not men.” Eph 6:7

25.   Purity: “Create in _____________ a pure heart, Oh God, and and let that purity be shown in his actions.” Ps 51:10

26.  Gratitude:  “Lord, please help ______________ to live a life that is always overflowing with thankfulness and always giving thanks to You for everything in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord.”  Ephesians 5:20, Colossians 2:7

27.  Discipline:  “May ___________ acquire a disciplined and prudent life doing what is right and just and fair.”  Proverbs 1:3

28.  Joy:  “May _____________ be filled with the joy given by your Holy Spirit.”  1 Thessalonians 1:6

29.  Courage:  “May ___________ always be strong and courageous in character and in action”.  Deuteronomy 31:6

30.  Willingness and Ability to Work:  “Teach __________ to value work and to work at it with all his heart, as working for You and not for men.”  Colossians 3:23

31.  A Heart for Missions:  “Lord, please help __________ to develop a desire to see your glory declared among the nations, your marvelous deeds among all peoples.” Psalm 96:3

Source:  PRAY!  Magazine issue #4

Can you imagine the impact such prayers can have on a child’s life, even years on down the road?!!!
Now when I meet with a young mom to share this with her I will bring this stack already made as a gift and then we’ll spend time praying through some of these cards for her child.  Remember people are much more likely to use something if you’ve first done it with them!  Depending on how much time she has we’ll pray back and forth through some of these for her child.  I encourage her to keep the stack near where she feeds her child and to seek to pray at least one verse prayer for her child each day.  But the beauty of having 31 cards numbered – even if she misses a few days she can just start on the card for that day!
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And can you ever have fun decorating the cards and personalizing them!  This batch I did with the word “thanks” written in the lower right hand corner of every card as a helpful reminder to always pray with thanks.
So you can put these verse prayers on a flip roll that will stand up on your dining room table, create your own stack using a circular ring which I find works great for walking and praying or I’ve also printed these on a bookmark that I keep beside my bed and will grab at night to pray through some of these verse prayers before going to sleep.  What a lovely way to end the day!
Now that my “baby” is 24 years old, it is such a joy to see how the Lord continues to answer these prayers!  I cannot recommend doing this highly enough!
And have I ever found this to be a wonderful example of one way older women can train younger women to “love their children” and be “busy at home!” ;0)
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ENGAGING THE UNSEEN FOE

By Jerry Bridges

Issues: Prayer is warfare with a defeated but still powerful enemy. When we allow our prayer lives to remain only on the level of immediate or “felt” needs, we risk the great danger of losing the struggle that God is ultimately interested in.

There’s a chapter in the history of the nation of Israel that I believe graphically illustrates the way we tend to operate as Christians.

Second Kings 3 records the account of Joram, the king of Israel, going into battle against the king of Moab. Joram did not seek God’s help or guidance for the fray; he simply made the decision and then enlisted the alliance of his former countryman, Jehoshaphat (king of Judah). Jehoshaphat didn’t pray either. After gathering up the king of Edom, they all went charging into battle.

In verse 9 we find out that they got into a supply problem: they ran out of water in the middle of the desert. Suddenly they wanted God’s help, and only then did they begin to pray (their method of praying was to seek the prophet). Their felt need was the focus of their prayer.

Water for their men and animals was a very important detail for those kings. But they were not out in the desert to drink water: they were there to fight a battle. Notice how God answered when he spoke to the prophet Elisha: “You will see neither wind nor rain, yet this valley will be filled with water, and you, your cattle and your other animals will drink. This is an easy thing in the eyes of the Lord; he will also hand Moab over to you” (verses 17–18). God had not forgotten the objective: to win the battle over the Moabites. The kings, however, had lost sight of why they were out there, because they were preoccupied with their immediate need.

THE TRUE BATTLEGROUND

As Christians, our prayer lives tend to dwell in the realm of water shortages. We seldom operate in the realm of true spiritual warfare. Go to an average prayer meeting, and I guarantee that 75 percent of the prayer requests will be for felt needs: for example, Jim’s neck. Now Jim’s neck needs to be healed, and I hope we are praying about it. But we never seem to get into the battle. As I’ve told students, “The only way that you can get prayed for at our church is to be in the hospital or out of a job.”

One year at Thanksgiving time I flew out to southern California to speak at a mission conference. My goal was to stimulate a vision among students and young military personnel for recruiting laborers for the harvest field. When I arrived at the Los Angeles airport, however, no one was there to meet me.

After wandering around the gate area and the baggage claim for forty-five minutes, I called the conference grounds. No answer. I thought, Well, I’ll get my secretary on this—she knows how to take care of these things. But when I called long distance back to Colorado Springs, no one answered the phone there either! Then I remembered that it was the Friday after Thanksgiving, and the office was closed. There I was, stuck.

It was then that I resorted to prayer: “Lord, if there is anyone in this airport looking for me,” I prayed, “help him to find me.” Not having much faith that my prayer was going to be answered, I headed out a nearby door to catch a bus to Pasadena. On my way out, I ran into a familiar-looking man on his way in. He was looking for me.

That was one of the quickest answers to prayer that I have ever experienced. Later on, however, I asked myself this question: “Did I pray as fervently for the real mission for which I was sent to southern California as I did that someone might find me at the airport?” In that airport, I was like Joram and Jehoshaphat, stranded in the desert without water. But the real reason I was there was not to get picked up at the airport, but to have a part in recruiting laborers for the harvest field. Jesus told us to pray that the Lord of the harvest will send forth laborers. That was the real battle.

There are three military terms that I feel illustrate various types of prayer: strategic, tactical, and logistical. Strategic refers to the ultimate objective—to defeat the enemy—and the overall plan, or strategy, to bring him into submission. Tactical means the specific battles necessary to achieve the ultimate objective. Logistical is simply supplying the physical needs of the army fighting the battle.

I believe that 75 to 80 percent of our prayer is for logistical items. For water in the desert. For someone to find us at the airport. For that sick person in the hospital. For the one who lost his job. All of these things are important, and we should be praying for them. But those kinds of things are almost all we pray about.

I would guess that 15 to 20 percent of our prayer effort is tactical, related to specific engagements with the enemy—the spiritual results of the conference I spoke at, for example. But that conference was only a specific operation; the overall objective was raising up laborers.

Very little of our prayer effort is strategic, or focused on our ultimate objective—the battle that God is really interested in. We need to remember that when we pray, we are entering into spiritual warfare. We are engaging a defeated but still powerful enemy: Satan, our unseen foe.

There are four primary aspects of this kind of warfare that are crucial to our success: first, understanding our enemy; second, identifying and learning to use the weapons with which to fight him; third, understanding the nature of our struggle with him; and fourth, focusing on the right objective in our attempts to defeat him.

UNDERSTANDING OUR ENEMY

In Ephesians 6:12, Paul says that our struggle is “not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Our warfare is with the devil and all of his evil angels. They are the spiritual forces Paul refers to in this passage.

The New Testament tells us four facts about the devil that we need to know in order to combat him. First, he is the ruler, with evil angels under him, of a kingdom in which all of the unsaved are held. When Paul wrote to the Ephesian believers that they were formerly dead in their sins, he was saying the same about us. We used to live in our sins when we followed “the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient” (Ephesians 2:1–2). We all used to follow the devil because we were all in his kingdom, under his dominion. When God commissioned Paul, he sent him to turn the Gentiles, the unsaved, “from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God” (Acts 26:18).

Not only does Satan hold the unsaved under his reign, but he also blinds the minds of unbelievers so that they cannot see the light of the gospel (2 Corinthians 4:4). That’s why witnessing often seems like pouring water off a duck’s back. Our speech comes across like a foreign language; the unbeliever just can’t understand.

When we witness to someone, we are launching an attack upon Satan’s kingdom. We cannot win this attack by our own power, because that person is under Satan’s dominion, and he is blinded by him. Jesus said that we cannot enter a strong man’s house and carry off his possessions until we first bind that strong man (Matthew 12:29). The strong man is the devil, and we bind him through prayer. That’s why we must enter into battle in prayer before we engage the unsaved in a witnessing situation.

The third fact that the Bible tells us about Satan is that he wars against believers, even though we have been delivered from his dominion into the kingdom of God. First Peter 5:8 says that he prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. The roaring lion is intended to symbolize the ferociousness of Satan.

When he attacks us in order to ruin us, however, he masquerades as an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14). In Scripture, light stands for either truth or moral purity. When Paul says that Satan masquerades as an angel of light, he means that Satan tries to convince us that his false teaching is the truth. When he tempted Jesus in the desert, saying, “Cast yourself down because it is written, ‘He will hold you up,”’ Satan twisted the truth.

Second Timothy 2:22–26 tells us that Satan’s masquerade can be so deceptive that he actually takes believers captive to do his will. This is not demon-possession, but rather a diversion of our minds into false teaching, unimportant or peripheral issues, temptations, discouragement, and doubts about the truth of God’s word.

I vividly remember an event that occurred to me while going through an intense spiritual battle. I was looking at a particular promise in Scripture, when Satan planted this thought in my mind: “It isn’t true, is it?” That was just as clear in my mind as if he had spoken in a voice. He was seeking to make me captive to do his will by attacking my mind with false teaching.

We are at war with an enemy who has thousands of years of experience. Satan attacked Eve in the Garden of Eden, and he has been attacking God’s people ever since. He knows his strategy, and he is not locked up in logistics.

But Scripture gives us a fourth (and the most important) fact about Satan: he is a defeated foe. Colossians 2:15 tells us that Jesus Christ disarmed the powers and authorities and “made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the Cross.” This is the reason James can tell us, “Resist the devil and he will flee from you” (James 4:7). Satan has lost the big war. He is now engaged in guerilla warfare against us, and we can defeat him in this day-to-day struggle.

USING THE RIGHT WEAPONS

In 2 Corinthians 10:3–5, Paul gives us a clue to the kind of weapon we need to battle Satan:

For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

The war we are engaged in is for the minds and souls of people. Our weapons are not physical, nor are they those of human logic and cleverness. They are divine.

When you are engaged in battle and the objective is a person’s mind, what are you going to use? The truth. Satan masquerades as an angel of truth, but we combat him with the real truth—the word of God. Paul tells us in Ephesians 6 to put on the full armor of God, so that we may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. The list of armor is primarily defensive: helmet, breastplate, belt, sandals, shield and so forth.

In verse 17, however, Paul says, “Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” There are two Greek words that are translated, “the word of God.” One of them is logos, referring to Scripture in general. The other is a word that focuses on a specific passage of Scripture. In this verse, Paul is referring to the specific word of God—individual passages of the Bible that are brought to bear on individual battles. Just as Jesus answered Satan with specific passages of Scripture from the Old Testament when he was tempted in the desert, so we fight Satan with specific passages of Scripture that apply to the situation at hand.

Our first weapon in battling our foe is the word of truth. In verse 18 of Ephesians 6, Paul gives us our second: “And pray in the Spirit.” The second weapon is prayer. Whether we are evangelizing the lost, discipling believers, or trying to restore a lapsed brother or sister, the weapons are always the same: the word of truth accompanied by prayer in the Spirit. We need the Spirit of God to open our minds and release us from Satan’s captivity.

The battle for the souls of men and women is really not won in the witnessing encounter or the discipling meeting, but in prayer, before we ever get into those situations. Our actions are of course necessary, but it is futile to fight without paving the way by prayer against the devil.

THE NATURE OF OUR STRUGGLE

We are at war against a powerful, unseen foe. And our weapons are the word of God and prayer. In order to use these weapons successfully, we need to have an adequate understanding of the kind of warfare we are engaged in.

Several times, Paul uses a word related to prayer that means to struggle or to agonize. It is the word from which we get our word agony. The same word is translated “fight” in 1 Timothy 6:12—“Fight the good fight of faith.” Paul also uses this word in Colossians 1:28–29: “We proclaim him, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present every one perfect in Christ. To this end I labor, struggling [or agonizing] with all his energy, which so powerfully works within me.” Here Paul is talking about our first weapon, the word of truth. But in chapter two, verse 1 of his letter to the people at Colossae he continues, “I want you to know how much I am struggling for you and for those at Laodicea, and for all who have not met me personally.” In Colossians 1:29 Paul means, “I agonize in the ministry of the word.” In Colossians 2:1 he means, “I agonize in the ministry of prayer.” Both indicate intense fighting. Paul wasn’t just praying about those in the hospital and the unemployed. He was in the heat of the battle.

In Colossians 4:12, Paul commends Epaphras for the same kind of struggling: “Epaphras, who is one of you and a servant of Christ Jesus, sends greetings. He is always wrestling [always agonizing, always waging war] in prayer for you, that you may stand firm in all the will of God, mature and fully assured.” Epaphras had his eye on the battle. He wanted these people to grow up in Christ and stand firm in the will of God. He wasn’t just concerned about their logistical or felt needs. He was concerned about the spiritual aspects of their lives. And he waged war in prayer.

Are you in the battle? Have you agonized in prayer lately? Or are you still preoccupied with the material things of your life, as Joram was for the need of water, losing sight of the real battle and the real enemy?

FOCUSING ON THE RIGHT OBJECTIVE

Once we’ve faced the enemy, armed ourselves with the right weapons, and prepared ourselves for the rigors of battle, we can still jeopardize our success by losing sight of God’s ultimate objective in this spiritual warfare.

What is God’s objective? “For God so loved the world.” God so loved people that he gave his only begotten son. Christ died for them. This is God’s objective: people; not being found at the airport, or even having a great mission conference. Those are logistical and tactical operations.

In Genesis 12:3, God promised Abraham, “All people on earth will be blessed through you.” This hasn’t happened yet. Our job is to engage the enemy in warfare, to see that it does happen. God’s plan is going to be fulfilled, but he has ordained that this plan be carried out through prayer.

There are 4½ billion men, women, and children on this earth right now. Most of them have never received the gospel. Have you prayed God’s promises into fulfillment for any of those people lately? Are you engaging Satan in battle through prayer? Are you asking God to bind the strong man, and claiming Christ’s victory on the Cross?

Jesus said that the harvest is plentiful and the laborers are few. He told us to pray that the Lord of the harvest would raise up laborers. The battle is not with unemployment and sickness and transportation arrangements. Those are necessary logistical items, and I am not saying that we shouldn’t pray for those things. God is aware of our friend in the hospital, or the man or woman out of a job. But I think that his attitude toward them is embodied in what he said to Joram: “This is an easy thing in the eyes of the Lord.” They are logistical details. He will also hand the enemy over to us.

My challenge to you is this: keep praying for your friend in the hospital, and keep praying for your friend who needs work. But remember that these are light things in the eyes of the Lord. Ask God to get you into the heat of the real battle. Ask him to equip you to engage the unseen foe, and then take your prayer life into the war for God’s ultimate objective. And expect him to hand Moab over to you.

[1]Mayberry, Peter, Discipleship Journal, Issue 19, (Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress) c2000.

The Pressure’s off!

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Ever been to a Bible study where you watch a video or listen to a speaker talk and then break into small groups and your facilitator presents a second message?  It can be a heady thing to speak and have a group listening to what you share.  But is that really what’s needed for life change to occur?

We live in a society that is information rich.  At any moment of the day you can pull up a sermon online or read a book or listen to a radio broadcast.  We’ve never had more access to the Word being taught – and struggled as much to live it out.

Consider what the Scriptures say:

“But you are not to be called Rabbi, for you have one teacher and you are all brothers.”  Matthew 23:8

“Neither be called instructors, for you have one instructor – the Christ.” Matthew 23:10

“As for you, the anointing which you received from Him abides in you, and you have no need for anyone to teach you; but as His anointing teaches you about all things and is true and is not a lie, and just as it has taught you, abide in Him.”              1 John 2:27

Once someone is a believer their greatest need usually isn’t for advice, but for someone to come along and help them learn how to listen to what the Lord is teaching them and help them process what they are hearing so they know how to respond and to encourage them to respond by living out what He is laying on their hearts. There are three key ways you can do this:

1.  Modeling

Until the day we die we are all very much in process, in need of growing and becoming more like Jesus.  As you share your weaknesses, where you struggle, and what helps you, there is a tremendous opportunity for people to learn how to process and apply as they see you doing this.  The quote, “More is caught than taught” is so true!  Whenever I’m asked to speak at a women’s retreat or to a group I find it so helpful to keep this in mind.  My goal isn’t to teach but to share my journey, yes, even the ugly parts when it will be of help for them to hear, and what’s been helping me.

2.  Listening & Asking Questions, Then Listening More

In James 1:19 we are instructed, “Everyone should be quick to listen…”  Is this ever vitally important to remember when you are facilitating a group discussion.  There is nothing like listening to someone share their heart or their thoughts to make them feel loved and cared for.  This creates a wonderful environment where growth can happen.

And is the second part of that verse, “slow to speak…” ever key for facilitators to remember.  When I’m speaking I’m in control.  So if I’m scared it’s so easy for that to be my default.  Even if someone in the group asks a question, well, the natural response is to answer right away.  But what a difference it can make if you first ask if anyone else in the group would like to respond.  Creating a learning community, where you are all sharing your journeys together is so much more powerful and life changing than a quick correct answer being given.  You want to be able to engage with each other as well as the material.  Can that ever do wonders to help people grow as this takes place.

Now it can really help to identify whether the women in your group are internal or external processors.  Those who process externally will usually be the first to share and sometimes the internal processors can get left out, so it takes extra intention to listen to them.  I’ve found it can be so helpful to provide an opportunity for them to first process on their own and then listen and ask questions.

For example, when I’m facilitating a group discussion after a speaker has shared, I will often start our time encouraging them to first write down on a notecard what stood out to them in the message or draw a quick picture representing this.  Even extroverts benefit from this opportunity to collect their thoughts (because writing is also a form of external processing) so when they share it tends to be more focused. But this is so key to being able to “listen” to internal processors.  I can’t tell you how many times this makes it possible to listen to what’s going on inside them.  Women who ordinarily would never share in a group will often open up when the group is conducted this way.

And it really is amazing how much more people are helped when we listen and ask questions, than when we just give answers!

3.  Introducing different ways to process

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As mentioned above, this can be as simple as having your group draw a picture or write a word or short paragraph that summarizes the key thing that stood out to them either from the message they just heard or from their Bible study that week.  Or if you’re reading the scriptures together and then discussing, it can be giving colored pencils and having them underline what stands out to them or circle key words.  Or it can be as involved as having the group art journal a page reflecting what they learned and then sharing it afterwards with the group (more information on this and examples are available at http://www.restfulheart.wordpress.com)

All of these means help people focus in on the key thing that stood out to them, narrowing down what they heard so they can more easily come up with an application.  That really is where the rubber meets the road.  It can be so powerful when people have time to process together for helping them come up with an application and then for the group to provide an opportunity for accountability – it doesn’t even have to be like drill sergeants checking up on you ~ just knowing someone is going to ask “how did it go this week?”  or “What did you experience as you sought to live out what you learned last week?” can be a powerful motivator for actually doing what’s on your heart to do.

Remember the difference between the wise and foolish builder isn’t a matter of hearing the Word!  The difference is what they do in response to it.  And it wasn’t that the wise builder got more gold stars – no!  By responding to what he heard, by actively seeking to do it, to live it out, he was laying a solid foundation for when the storms of life came.  And note it’s not “If” they come but “when!”

Yes, there can be times when it is appropriate to give advice, but I like to filter that through Ephesians 4:29 speaking “only what is helpful for building others up, according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”  Be sure to ask yourself – is this really helping them become wise?  Helping them process what they’ve already heard and move towards application?  Or am I just providing opportunity for them to “hear” more?

Whether you’re meeting one on one with someone or facilitating a group it can be so wise to keep asking yourself how much time am I talking?  And what is happening as a result?

Best part of this?  Does it ever take the pressure off you as a facilitator, discipler or mentor!  You don’t have to have all the answers!  And since no one does (according to I Corinthians 13:12 in this life we only know in part) what a relief!  All you have to do is join in with what Jesus is doing, helping them learn to listen to him – not just hear him, but respond to him and yield to him as He guides them.  And in the process, instead of remaining babes dependent on you they are learning how to walk with him and abide with him for life!

Seeing Myself The Way Jesus Does

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Years ago a fellow Navigator, David Lyons, wrote a booklet entitled “Now That I’m Born Again” based on what the Lord  reveals in Ephesians regarding our identity in Christ.  Now I love to walk and pray so I placed that content on a bookmark that I print double sided on card stock.  I like to carry a copy of this in my purse so whenever I start doubting my value I can pull it out and pray through this.  What a life changing difference this is making in my life!

Before we lived in Colorado Springs we use to fly out here for leadership meetings.  Now Navigators love to “get time with each other” one on one, so it’s not uncommon to find people at these meetings setting up lunches and breaks to do this.  At one particular meeting there were a number of people I was hoping to get time with so I was really excited when I learned we had a two hour break before dinner one night.  Now it was going to be a special dinner and what I didn’t realize was most of the women wanted time to get ready so as I went around asking if people could get together, one after another told me no.  And I found myself starting to feel down…

Now another couple who lived out here invited us to come wait for the dinner at their house.  On our drive over I pulled out this bookmark and started praying through it.  What an incredible reminder it was – I’m not a loser, because of Jesus I am blessed, chosen, holy, without blemish, adopted…  I felt my spirits begin to lift as my heart spent time giving thanks.  Especially as I prayed “Thank you, Father, that I am wanted”  the pain I was feeling from rejection dissipated (and please note it wasn’t that anyone was rejecting me, they just had other plans, but do you know how you can go there and still feel this way?!)

Now I was sitting in the back seat and since I can’t hear anything in that setting anyways, I spent the whole drive (about twenty minutes) silently praying and giving thanks for who I am in Christ.  By the time we arrived, my heart was soaring and a smile was on my face.  We enjoyed a lovely time and learned a bunch from the things they shared with us.  Truly the Lord had other plans for that time!

Fast forward two hours and we head to dinner.  On the way in I stop to talk with the son of a friend, seeking to encourage him.  By the time I go in to where the dinner is being held nearly everyone else is seated.  But then I spy an open chair right next to one of the women I’ve been hoping to get time with.  I’m so excited!!!  I race over and ask, “Is this seat available?” only to hear, “No, it’s saved it for…”  Then I spy another empty chair next to someone else I’d hoped to get time with… only to discover that was already taken too.  In fact, the only available chair was all the way at the back of the room.

Now normally by this time my insecurities would be kicking in big time. No one saved a seat for me.  So easily I could’ve withdrawn into myself and eaten my meal in silence.  It takes a lot of energy to interact when you are hearing impaired, energy that if I’m feeling rejected, discouraged and down I usually don’t have.  But after praying through all those truths of who I am in Christ, I thought, “Jesus must’ve saved me this seat at the back for a reason!”

I ended up sitting across from a woman I didn’t know very well and as we talked over dinner our hearts connected in a powerful way.  Did that evening ever turn into a HUGE gift from the Lord!

But so easily I could’ve missed out if my soul hadn’t been fortified right when I needed it by remembering who I am in Christ.

It’s one thing to know these truths in my head or even to do a Bible study on them, but I’m finding these truths are making the biggest life changing difference when I am intentional to apply them by praying through them while my value is under attack!

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Seeing Myself The Way Jesus Does…

I am in Christ

Thank You for immersing me in Christ. Thank you for grafting me into the true vine.

I am blessed

Thank you for continually speaking well of me and favoring me in every possible way.

I am chosen

Thank you for picking me for yourself, like a groom marrying the bride he desires.

I am holy

Thank You for setting me aside for yourself, just like the best silver is set aside for special occasions

I am without blemish

Thank you that when you look at me, you do not focus on all my failures. Thank you for focusing on the best part of me, the part You have perfected, my innermost being.

I am adopted

Thank you, Father, that I am wanted. Thank you for coming to me, extending Your hand, pulling me to Your side, and making all the necessary arrangements to make me Your very own.

I am God’s child

Thank you for making me Your beloved child, in whom You are well pleased, for allowing me to bear your likeness, for making me your pride and joy.

 I am free from sin’s power

Thank you for liberating me from my old master. Thank you for saving me from my enemy.

I am forgiven

Thank You that You now hold nothing against me. Thank you for not expecting me to make up for the ways I have failed you.

I am favored

Thank You for making me one of Your favorites. Thank You for hovering over me with a special loving attention, like a parent with a firstborn child.

I am wealthy

Thank You that as Your child I have an inheritance that provides all I need. Thank You that I will always have more than I need.

I am secure

Thank You for enveloping me in Your love so that I am sealed, secure and safe. Thank You for shielding and sheltering me by Your Spirit.

I am called

Thank You for giving me an exciting, fulfilling direction. Thank You for showing me why I am here and where I am going.

I am praiseworthy

Thank You for filling me with Your glory. Thank You for bragging about me as Your prized inheritance.

I am capable

Thank You that You love to show Your extraordinary power in me. Thank You that I am therefore qualified & able to do all You want me to do.

I am alive with Christ’s life

Thank You that since You came into my heart, I am born again – born from above and bursting with real life.

I am seated with Christ in heaven

Thank You for placing me with Christ in a position of extraordinary privilege and authority.

I am God’s masterpiece

Thank You for making me Your personal work of art. Thank You that I am the work of a Craftsman, not a mistake.

I am close to God

Thank You for not holding me at arm’s length. Thank You for pulling me to Your side in a prolonged embrace.

I am an insider

Thank You for making me a true citizen in Your kingdom. Thank You for making me a true member of Your household, no longer an outsider.

I am God’s mobile home

Thank You for moving into my heart. Thank You that I am now Your house, Your temple, Your tent.

I am promised great things

Thank You for making such priceless commitments to me. Thank You for letting me experience what others strive to obtain.

I am loved

Thank You for loving me the way I long to be loved. Thank You that I can’t wear out Your love. Thank you for continuing to win my trust by convincing me of the depth of Your love.

I am a new creation

Thank You for completely remodeling my innermost being, my spirit. Thank You that all things in me are truly new.

I am righteous

Thank You for making everything right in my innermost being. Thank You for placing the holy and living Spirit of Your Son in me.

I am the light of the world

Thank You for making the light of Your life shine in me. Thank You for making me Your flashlight, shining into the darkness around me.

I am nourished

Thank You for satisfying my thirst and hunger. Thank You for the Bread of Life that fills me. Thank You for the Living Water welling up in my soul.

I am cherished

Thank You for adoring and treasuring me, like a parent marveling over a newborn baby.

I am Christ’s body

Thank You that although You once lived among Your people in an elaborate tent, and then You walked among us in a Galilean body, now You truly live in me. Thank You that I am actually a member of Your body.

I am united with Christ

Thank You for becoming one with me, as a husband becomes one flesh with his wife.

I am strong

Thank You that with You living in me, I can face anything. Thank You that every battle, test and victory belong to You.

 from David Lyon’s booklet Now That I Am Born Again

Why I am Not a Fan of Using Devotionals for Quiet Times

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I love books! As a voracious reader, I learn so much from the things people have written.  Just this past week I discovered a new Christian used book store here in town on my date with Jesus and I was like a kid in a candy shop!  I bought three books after putting four back (had to limit myself because I was on my bike with only a small backpack!) and devoured the first one that night!

So please understand… I do believe there is much value in reading the thoughts of others – but not during a quiet time!  With all my heart I believe this should be a sacred time, enjoyed daily, directly with the lover of your soul.

Yes, the Lord can and does speak to us in a number of ways.  He is an incredible communicator!  But I have found keeping my quiet time limited to the Lord, His Word and me during that special time makes such a difference in my life!

Why?

a.  Enjoying a quiet time this way is relational!

Now I’m well aware there are many who will disagree with me regarding the use of devotionals for Quiet Times.  And that’s totally fine! (I am not at all saying I think it’s wrong to do this, just not generally wise if its taking the place of you going directly to God’s Word – though if Jesus leads you to do this, by all means follow Him!!!)  But I know my dates with my husband wouldn’t be the same if someone else came along and I just listened to this person, no matter how wise or eloquent he was, tell me what he thought about what my husband said.  For a counseling appointment or at a dinner party that’s fine, but on a date I want to hear and experience Jim directly! :0)  And it’s the same in my times with the Lord.

b.   Enjoying a quiet time this way promotes growing in dependence on the Lord… not other people

I believe this is especially important when following up a new or young believer. Remember how 1 Peter 2:2 talks about how key “pure spiritual milk”  (or as the KJV says “the sincere milk of the Word”) is for growing?  A daily quiet time is a prime time for taking this in.

It’s so easy for young believers to develop a dependence on other people, to let others do their thinking for them, and then to be intimidated by how well written or how brilliant the thoughts in the devotional are and think, “I could never come up with anything like that.” So instead of directly learning to listen to the Holy Spirit teach them from His Word, they become dependent on people.

c.  Enjoying a quiet time this way helps people grow in valuing God’s Word

The Bible is not another book among books.

2 Timothy 3:16 states, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness so the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”

And we’re told in Hebrews 4:12 “The Word of God is living and active, sharper than any double edged sword.  It penetrates even to dividing the soul and spirit, joints and marrow, it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”

And in 2 Peter 1:20 we’re told, “But know this first of all that no prophecy of Scripture is a matter of one’s own interpretation. For no prophecy was ever made by an act of human will, but men moved by the Holy Spirit spoke from God.”

And in Isaiah 55 the Lord himself pleads, “Listen, listen to me and eat what is good and your soul will delight in the richest of fare” and then He compares His Word to the rain watering the earth and promises, “So is my Word that goes out of my mouth it will not return to me void, but will accomplish the purpose I have for it.”

What other book is like this?!!!

As I often say, my words are like .5 cents compared to God’s Word being a million dollars.  So let’s say the words of the most eloquent, mature Christian writer are worth $20.  What’s that compared to God’s Word?!  If I really care about someone don’t I long for them to maximally be enriched?!!!

d.  Enjoying a quiet time this way can help us learn in small bites to meditate on God’s Word and apply it

It’s work learning to meditate on God’s Word and diligently apply it.  This is why a daily quiet time is a discipline and as Hebrews 12:11 tells us, “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.  Later on, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who’ve been trained by it.”  Did you catch that?  No discipline! Not one!  So this is not an easy thing to integrate into your life.

Reading a book can be a whole lot easier!  For me, reading is like a sweet reward.  It’s what I do to relax, refresh, recharge.  It’s all too easy to take the easy route – and really miss out!

Remember for growth you can’t “just read.” There also needs to be meditating on what you’re reading and then application.  Otherwise you end up like the foolish builder in Matthew 7 whose house came crashing down because it was built on sand.  This foolish man heard the Word, he just didn’t do anything in response to it!

It’s so easy to just read books and not do anything with what you’re reading.  (Granted, it’s easy to do this with God’s Word, too.  I can’t stress enough how vital practical application of God’s Word is!  So I will concur someone who takes whatever morsel of God’s Word they find in a devotional and meditates on it and actively applies it in a life changing way is better off than someone who reads multiple chapters from their Bible each day and does nothing with it!  But why settle for this when you can go directly to God’s word and reap maximum benefit?!)

e. Enjoying a quiet time this way becomes a time of experiencing the Lord!

Just as when I meet with someone, it’s so much more valuable if they discover something rather than me telling them – so I want them to experience the joy of God opening their eyes so they can see wonderful things in His Word!  This is a powerful way of experiencing the presence and wisdom of the Lord.  He really is an amazing communicator.  What a difference it can make in our relationship as well as our lives when we experience this first hand!

f.  Enjoying a quiet time this way is transformational not simply informational!

In America, we are so caught up with knowing information.  And sadly it’s so easy to mistake knowing something in our heads with truly being transformed by it!  God’s Word has such power to transform our lives as we live it out.  Far better to have a simple thought from God’s Word that you live out and changes you, rather than the most brilliant thought that simply fills your brain.

Yes, there are many devotionals that contain incredible thoughts.  I have benefitted greatly from the writings of Oswald Chambers, especially.  But please note he didn’t deliver these as quiet time material.  His wife faithfully wrote down what he shared in messages!

It’s fine to read writings like these and you may benefit greatly from them – but I highly recommend reading them as you would any other book and saving your quiet time for special time enjoying and interacting directly with Jesus through His Word!

(NOTE:  for more information on a simple but highly transformational way of structuring quiet times with an emphasis on meditation and application, check out the article “The Treasure of Shared Quiet Times” found in the “Helps!” section)

From Diapers to Driving!

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Every Sunday morning across America, people wake up, get dressed, drive to church, sing a few songs, listen to a sermon… and leave.  Sadly many give little thought to what was heard.  Christianity in America is full of expert hearers and negligent doers.

So many people don’t get Jesus’ parable of the wise and foolish builders and think it’s about avoiding sand. (Matthew 7:24-27)  Please note, both men “heard” the Word ~ the difference was what they did with it.  But here’s the kicker, most do not naturally do something in response to what’s heard – what’s natural is to listen, smile, nod… and then forget about it.

I have found this can also be true when discipling women.  Unless there is intentional effort to walk young believers through actively applying what’s been discussed, it often goes in one ear and out the other.  Everyone needs to learn to be a doer – especially to be a faithful doer.

Nike’s “Just Do It!” ad sounds great, but the vast majority of us need help getting out the door to exercise.

Application is spiritual exercise.  It’s when we follow James’ admonition to be doers of the Word and not just hearers of it. (James 1:22)

One way I help those I meet with learn to do this is by giving them an assignment each time we meet related to what we discussed.

In the beginning I need to be directive.  That includes not just telling them what to do but also giving input on how to do it.

Now I may dialogue with them to clarify what’s workable for them, but in the beginning I prayerfully determine what the assignment is.  And I make certain the assignment is SMART:

Specific – Not vague like “Why don’t you review the verse we learned this week” but “I’d like you to review the verse we learned three times each day this week”

Measurable – You want them to be able to clearly know whether they did it or not.  For example, “I find it helpful to write out the days of the week on a 3×5 card with three boxes for each day and then have a friend listening check one off after each time she helps me review”

Accountable – I make sure they know I’m going to ask next week about this and I make it a priority to truly ask how it went at the start of our time the next week.  This is so important!!!  Do not forget to do this!  

Realistic – Not “memorize the whole Bible by next week!”  but something simple that’s do-able… like one verse?  Maybe…   This will vary from person to person!   It’s not – is it realistic for a person to be able to do this, but is it realistic to expect this particular person will do this?!!!  For example, if someone is an easily distracted procrastinator like me,  I like to take time to memorize the verse together then ask them to review on their own throughout the week – because while it may seem realistic to ask people to memorize one verse during the week, I’ve found it usually doesn’t happen unless they are highly disciplined or motivated – or not until the last minute right before your next meeting!  And rushing to learn a verse right before you start on the next one – well, you don’t really learn it that way!

Timely – Not something they’ll do ten years from now but within the next week.

So in the beginning these assignments are very discipler directed (which hopefully is totally God directed!!!) but my ultimate goal is to work myself out of a job!

As they grow I want application to become a way of life for them, something they automatically do whenever they hear or read God’s Word.  and for this to happen eventually they have to learn to not depend on someone telling them what to do.

Baby Christians need you to be direct, but ultimately the goal is to get them into the driver’s seat.  So over time, as they grow, it’s vital I gradually shift into coaching – helping them decide how they are going to apply what we discuss, because I’m not always going to be around!

When you coach, you ask a lot of questions and let them come up with the answers.  For example, “What action would you like to take this week to live out what we’ve just discussed?”  Then ask more questions to help them make it SMART!

Ultimately, I want them to come up with their own SMART applications, because that’s really where life change occurs.

As I’m doing this I’m not only helping them be wise and apply what we’ve discussed, I’m also modeling for them what application looks like.  It’s also helping them learn the importance of processing.

And the role of accountability, especially as someone is learning to do this can’t be emphasized enough!  I honestly believe this is a huge difference between hearing a message in a large group vs. one on one  – you are much more likely to act on what you hear when you know someone is going to ask you about it.

With that said, it’s vital they know this isn’t about pleasing me.  And it’s not about their value or acceptance as a person whether they do what I ask or not.  But a disciple by definition isn’t a passive learner but one who makes what they are learning their rule of conduct – one who acts on what she hears!

So giving weekly assignments that are SMART and then gradually helping someone learn how to make SMART applications on her own not only can help her become faithful in applying what she hears, but it also acts like miracle grow – taking young disciples from diapers to driving in record time!