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Why Pray?

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Some Thoughts on Prayer

Before attempting to answer the question “Why Pray?” it’s helpful to first consider what prayer is… and isn’t! This isn’t an exhaustive list, but just some thoughts rambling through my brain this morning.

1. Prayer is not informing God, but interacting with Him

In Psalm 139 we’re told, “before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord.” Since God knows everything, even what we’re going to say before we say it, then why should we pray?

Quite simply, because prayer is not about informing God, but about interacting with Him.

Communication is vital for relationship. When I ask my husband about his day, I’m not simply asking him to recount a list of facts regarding what he did, I’m desiring to share his life. Even if I already know the facts from someone else, I love to hear his take on it.

Prayer is how we share life with God. It is all about communicating with Him to interact with Him. It’s not like an intelligence officer reporting to a general to inform him so he knows what to do. Instead, it is an opportunity to grow closer to the Almighty, all knowing God of the universe and in the process become more like Him.

2. Prayer is not about trying to change God’s mind, but about aligning my heart with His

As we communicate with each other there is also tremendous opportunity for growth. This is why we become like the people we spend the most time with. Prayer is how we spend time with God – and in the process do we ever have an opportunity to be transformed.

I’ve heard it estimated that the Bible records 288 questions Jesus asks. How many of those do you think He knew the answer to?

And in the book of Job when God responds, the majority of what He says are questions – and you better believe he alone knows the answers to them! So why does God ask questions?

When we communicate so much more is going on than transmission of information. As we dialogue our thinking is impacted – especially when we dialogue with people who are good listeners and questioners. In the process we learn to think and have the opportunity to gain a greater and broader perspective.

Consider Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane. He was about to be plunged into a nightmare of injustice and abuse where He would endure the cup of God’s wrath on our behalf. And He, God Himself, chose to spend the time before praying. Do you remember what He prayed? “Lord if you are willing take this cup from me.” Do you remember what He concluded? “Yet not my will but yours be done.”

Prayer helps us see our circumstances from God’s perspective (which according to Isaiah 55:8-9 is not the perspective we normally have!) – especially when we pray with thanks as instructed in Philippians 4:6-7 and it prepares us to surrender to His good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:2)

3. Prayer is not about me doing all the talking, but involves listening too!

God gives us a wonderful invitation in Jeremiah 33:3, “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and hidden things you do not know.” And again in Isaiah 55:2, “Listen, listen to me and eat what is good and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.”

Prayer is about communicating – and that’s a two way street. Don’t forget to take time to listen. This is a vital part of prayer!

One of my favorite ways to pray occurs as I read through God’s Word. I listen to what He says, then respond with whatever comes to mind after I read each paragraph. It is amazing how much what I’m reading relates to what’s happening in my life and the lives of others around me!

I also find I listen best with pen in hand. I will ask God a question and then write out the thoughts that come to mind – time after time I am blown away at what I’ve written down, knowing that didn’t come from me!

But remember when we read scripture we know with certainty it is the Word of God (check out 2 Peter 1:21). But there are many voices that speak to us – so we need to test and approve what we “hear” to be certain where it’s coming from – it’s vital we compare this with what is written in God’s Word and can it ever help to get feedback from others!

4. Prayer is not trying to get God to do something He doesn’t want to do, but joining in with His purposes

God is good. All He does is good. And we are told in Psalm 84:12 “No good thing does He withhold from those whose walk is blameless.”

Did you catch that? If something is good, you can count on God to do it. You don’t have to convince Him!

So why pray?

a. Prayer helps us experience God more.

Every single day God is at work in my life in so many ways providing for me and protecting me. When we get to heaven I expect we’re going to be blown away to see how much more active He was in caring for us and sustaining us than we ever imagine!

When we ask it helps us experience Him more. The more aware we are of our needs, the more alert we are to see Him in action providing for them – and the more thankful we become as we see Him respond!

b. Because God always responds!

Granted, it may not always be the way we want Him to. Consider John 16:24 “Until now you’ve not asked for anything in my name, ask and you will receive and your joy will be complete.” Now take a closer look at that verse. Does it say, “Ask and you will receive what you ask for?” No! It says “Ask and you will receive” and what you receive will make your joy complete.

According to James 1:17 every good and perfect gift comes from above. God is a giver of good gifts. But have you ever wanted something you thought was good only to find out later it wasn’t really? Do you want God to give you something if it really isn’t good?!

Good news – He won’t! But according to John 16:24 when you ask you will receive something. And because God is good and only does what’s good that something will be good. You can bank on it!

So when you ask, you never lose out! You never come away empty handed. You may not get what you ask for, but you will get something good.

It’s like if my son came to me at 5pm and asked for a candy bar. Well, that’s the last thing he needs right before dinner. But what’s behind his request? He’s hungry – a signal his body is in need of nourishment. If dinner isn’t going to be ready for a bit, while I’m not going to give him a candy bar, I will give him a healthy snack – and he will be better off because of it.

That may seem a silly and trite example, but the principle is true. I remember one of my friends shared how in college she was in a relationship with this Christian guy who seemed really great but God laid it on her heart to break up with him. It was hard, but she did. Years later she was watching the news and up pops his face, He’d been arrested for murdering his wife!

Things are not always what they seem. And remember God knows the future. That’s why I love that the Holy Spirit intercedes for us when we don’t know what to pray. I may not always pray for the right things – but God has made provision for this. I don’t need to be afraid of praying the wrong thing.

So pray, pray, pray! God will respond when you do. But only with what is good!

c. Prayer is one key way God invites us to join in with what He’s doing.

One of the most important things I ever do for anyone else is to pray for them. I believe this with all my heart. Does God need me to do a work in someone’s life? No! But He chooses to involve me so I can have a front row seat seeing Him in action and as I experience Him more, do I ever grow closer to Him. And to those I’m praying for.

5. Prayer is not an optional suggestion, but a vital command

God never gives us commands to make us jump through hoops. Instead His commands are designed as boundaries to keep us where abundant life is. That doesn’t mean life will be easy – Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble!” But there will be peace, joy, love… all that makes for experiencing this life to the full!

6. Prayer is not a duty, but a precious gift

Can you waltz in and see President Biden today? No Way! You need to make arrangements weeks in advance and even if you do manage to get an appointment it’s going to be a short one. But the Almighty God of the universe has made Himself available to us day and night 24/7. How incredible is that?

I love the Old Testament! Does it ever help me appreciate all Jesus has made available to us! Especially as I study the way people worshipped back then. Do you know only the High Priest was allowed to enter God’s presence in the Holy of Holies? And he was only allowed to do that once a year. And when he did they actually tied a rope around his leg so they could pull him out in case he was struck dead because of impurity.

Yet because of Jesus we can approach God’s throne of grace at any time, anywhere with full confidence! This is an unbelievable privilege! One God encourages us to avail ourselves of “without ceasing.” Do you hear that? God wants to interact with you all day, every day. That’s how much He loves you! That’s how much He desires relationship with you! He doesn’t just want you to show up and tell him about your day, He wants you to actively walk through it with Him, interacting with Him and enjoying His presence every moment of it.

You are desired! You are invited! You are delighted in! How incredible is that?

This is why I love praying!

But truth be told, every once in a while I hit a dry spell. I may still be showing up but not sure what to say. Well, do you know how they have those packs of questions you can use with your friends? The ones that get you asking things you’d never think to ask on your own?

That’s the way I view books that contain other people’s prayers. I find it can be so helpful to get the conversation going by reading what they pray. On some days this provides the jump start I need to get me going. One of my favorites is Ruth Myers’ 31 Days of Praise – can praying through that book ever change your life. Because as you pray with Ruth through her book, it really can change your perspective in a beautiful way. It sure did mine!

Other favorites are The Valley of Vision, Every Moment Holy and David’s Crown by Malcolm Guite. Though my favorite prayer prompts are the scriptures themselves!

Did you know an entire book of the Bible (and the longest book at that!) is really a compilation of prayers? Pray your way through the book of Psalms and I guarantee you will be blown away at what you learn about prayer.

Truly the best way to grow in prayer is by diving in and doing it! May the Lord richly bless the time you spend enjoying Him as you share your life with Him.

Powerful & Effective Ministry (for everyone! but especially for moms at home with little ones!)

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On July 26th, 1944 Eldon Powley was running communication lines as a Marine in Guam when he crested a ridge and was shot through the leg, breaking it.  As a hail of bullets began to descend he pulled his rifle close and began to roll over and over until he hit the dry river bed and kept rolling until he was up against the bank. As bullets continued to beat into the river bed he lay perfectly still until everything became quiet. After bandaging his leg he crawled down river hoping to find help.

Suddenly he heard movement and gripped his rifle, thinking “They might get me, but I’ll get some of them first.”  Instead of the enemy, it was the rest of his gang!

They stared at him as if they’d seen a ghost.  As they continued to head back there were more scrimmages on the way. It seemed they were shooting in all directions.  At one point a fellow charged him with his bayonet and when Eldon shot him, this guy’s rifle slipped down beside Eldon.

Just as Eldon realized he was out of ammunition, a hand grenade bounced on the river bed, bouncing right over Eldon and went off.  He remembered thinking, “So this is what it feels like to die because no one could ever live through that blast”  But Eldon did!  After regaining consciousness he discovered he was terribly wounded but still alive.

Remembering he was out of ammo he rolled over to pick up the Japanese rifle and discovered his whole left side was paralyzed from the hand grenade shrapnel – it was in his left leg, arm, side, back and head.  When he finally got into a position that he could get hold of the rifle he discovered it had two rounds left in it.  The shrapnel in his head and face resulted in so much bleeding he had to lay the rifle down to wipe the blood away so he could see.

Eventually he saw more men coming across the ridge in his direction.  When they were about 100 feet away he laid the rifle down to wipe the blood out of his eyes one last time but when he lined up on them again he realized they were Marines!  And there was a Navy Corpsmen with them who quickly tended his wounds!  After he was finished, Eldon looked like a mummy wrapped from head to toe in white bandages.

The next day he was so sore and stiff he couldn’t move and when anyone talked to him it sounded like they were talking down a hollow tube. Because of the shrapnel in his face and jaw he couldn’t open his mouth or separate his teeth to eat.  He was sent via ship to Hawaii to be put back together.

While there he received his mail from the past few months.  When he opened a letter from his mother, he read, “Last night the Lord woke me and said to pray for your son as he is in very serious trouble.” The letter said she got out of bed on her knees and prayed for a long time for his safety and got no relief.  Finally she prayed, “O Lord, just keep him close to you.” She said a calmness came over her and she got back into bed and went to sleep.  The next morning she wrote this letter before going to work.  As Eldon read the letter to his roommate they realized the 25th of July was really the 26 of July in Guam, the day they fought for their very existence.

His mother was praying for him during those hours!!!

Oh how I love this story!  It reminds me how powerful prayer is – his mom was in Michigan! And they didn’t have iphones back then!!!  When my son was going through training to become a Marine officer it so encouraged my heart to think the Lord could prompt me to be praying for him when he needed it – even if he was on the other side of the world!

Do you realize the impact you can have through your prayers?!!!

Being at home with a baby and young children is a unique season of life when you truly can cultivate a life of prayer.  There are a lot of daily tasks that require your attention, but your mind isn’t as challenged – well, it may be frazzled!!!  But I found there was a lot of time when I could pray  – if I’d be intentional about it.  Granted this is much easier said than done.  I found for this to happen it required a lot of creativity and perseverance.

Have you heard about Susanna Wesley?  Even though she had 19 children she was determined that prayer would be a part of her life.  She taught her kids whenever she sat in the middle of her kitchen floor with her apron over her head she was not to be disturbed – and yes, there were serious consequences for any child who violated this unless there was an emergency.  Did those prayers ever produce a ton of fruit, impacting her children and millions more through them.

What a wonderful picture this is of being intentional!

But since you don’t see quick results all the time, prayer truly is a huge act of faith – especially initially.  It really is a great faith workout and brings such pleasure to the Lord.  But I can’t even begin to tell you the joy I have when I do get to see answered prayer – and the more I pray the more i get glimpses of the Lord answering.

Like a few days ago I was walking in the neighborhood and a neighbor was in her driveway with her husband, distraught having discovered that afternoon while at school the diamond was missing from her wedding ring.  So we prayed for her and can you believe her son found it the next day in her bedroom when he was bringing in his laundry – and the room was dark!!!  Were we ever celebrating when we heard this!

Now you can pray anytime but I think certain seasons of life are extra ripe for growing in prayer.  When I was nursing my son, I use to love to pray for him.  As I did so, I began memorizing the prayers in Scripture so even though I couldn’t hold a Bible I could pray through those for him and others too!

Not only is it a joy now 24 years later, seeing how the Lord is answering those prayers – but as I invested that time in prayer I was changed.  My perspective often changed regarding the hard things we were going through but also I became much more sensitive to the Holy Spirit bringing things to mind for me to pray for.

I think it’s important to note, Eldon Powley’s mom spent years cultivating a close walk with the Lord so when He prompted her to pray during this crisis she recognized His voice and was ready even in the middle of the night to fall to her knees in prayer.

One of my all time favorite verses in the Bible is Isaiah 40:11 – especially the last part where it says, “He gently leads those who have young.”  Over and over I find the Lord so amazingly faithful to do this.  But the kicker is – when you gently lead someone you don’t yank them around!  In fact, if someone is gently leading, the person being led has to work to be attentive or it’s easy to miss such cues.  Yet the more you seek to listen and follow, the easier it becomes to be alert to such guidance.

So one of my key prayers is to ask the Lord to help me be sensitive to His gentle leading!  That’s not a passive request!  But one He is honoring as I show up for His training day by day ~ to listen, to follow, to obey.

Many times I’ve been asked – why pray if the Lord already knows what’s needed?  Because prayer doesn’t just change circumstances – it changes us.  Especially as we experience the Lord!

He could’ve rescued Eldon without his mother’s prayers.  But can you imagine the impact it had on Eldon and his roommate when they realized his mom was praying at the exact time he was under attack?!  Or what an impact it had on his mom when she heard the full story?!  And others too?!

Talk about powerful and effective!  Over fifty years later it still brings tears to my eyes and moves my heart to worship… and does it ever motivate me to keep praying even more!

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note:  Eldon is now in the presence of the Lord.  But before he died he wrote an autobiography entitled My Life in the United States Marine Corp.  You won’t find this listed for sale on Amazon as he wrote it for his children and grandchildren ~ and graciously gave me a copy when I asked for one.  

We met nearly twenty years ago when I was directing drama at our church. He would come help me set up and tear down sets sharing his story as we did so. What a special man! I was blown away by how he experienced the Lord during World War 2.  

Prior to this attack he’d been on a ship when it was torpedoed and shared how he spent the night in the water praying while he waited to be rescued.  First he prayed he wouldn’t be sucked down with the ship.  Then he prayed he wouldn’t be burned by the spilled oil that was igniting all around him.  Then he prayed he wouldn’t be eaten by the sharks drawn by the bloody wounds of many of the men.  Then after many hours, he prayed his soaked life vest wouldn’t pull him under.  And of course he prayed for rescue – and that it wouldn’t come from any enemies!  

After spending all night bobbing in the sea he was picked up well after daylight the next day.  I share this to highlight his mom wasn’t the only fervent pray-er!  Isn’t it beautiful to see how she modeled and passed this on ~ and two generations later this blessing is still having a powerful and effective impact for the glory of God!

The Pressure’s off!

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Ever been to a Bible study where you watch a video or listen to a speaker talk and then break into small groups and your facilitator presents a second message?  It can be a heady thing to speak and have a group listening to what you share.  But is that really what’s needed for life change to occur?

We live in a society that is information rich.  At any moment of the day you can pull up a sermon online or read a book or listen to a radio broadcast.  We’ve never had more access to the Word being taught – and struggled as much to live it out.

Consider what the Scriptures say:

“But you are not to be called Rabbi, for you have one teacher and you are all brothers.”  Matthew 23:8

“Neither be called instructors, for you have one instructor – the Christ.” Matthew 23:10

“As for you, the anointing which you received from Him abides in you, and you have no need for anyone to teach you; but as His anointing teaches you about all things and is true and is not a lie, and just as it has taught you, abide in Him.”              1 John 2:27

Once someone is a believer their greatest need usually isn’t for advice, but for someone to come along and help them learn how to listen to what the Lord is teaching them and help them process what they are hearing so they know how to respond and to encourage them to respond by living out what He is laying on their hearts. There are three key ways you can do this:

1.  Modeling

Until the day we die we are all very much in process, in need of growing and becoming more like Jesus.  As you share your weaknesses, where you struggle, and what helps you, there is a tremendous opportunity for people to learn how to process and apply as they see you doing this.  The quote, “More is caught than taught” is so true!  Whenever I’m asked to speak at a women’s retreat or to a group I find it so helpful to keep this in mind.  My goal isn’t to teach but to share my journey, yes, even the ugly parts when it will be of help for them to hear, and what’s been helping me.

2.  Listening & Asking Questions, Then Listening More

In James 1:19 we are instructed, “Everyone should be quick to listen…”  Is this ever vitally important to remember when you are facilitating a group discussion.  There is nothing like listening to someone share their heart or their thoughts to make them feel loved and cared for.  This creates a wonderful environment where growth can happen.

And is the second part of that verse, “slow to speak…” ever key for facilitators to remember.  When I’m speaking I’m in control.  So if I’m scared it’s so easy for that to be my default.  Even if someone in the group asks a question, well, the natural response is to answer right away.  But what a difference it can make if you first ask if anyone else in the group would like to respond.  Creating a learning community, where you are all sharing your journeys together is so much more powerful and life changing than a quick correct answer being given.  You want to be able to engage with each other as well as the material.  Can that ever do wonders to help people grow as this takes place.

Now it can really help to identify whether the women in your group are internal or external processors.  Those who process externally will usually be the first to share and sometimes the internal processors can get left out, so it takes extra intention to listen to them.  I’ve found it can be so helpful to provide an opportunity for them to first process on their own and then listen and ask questions.

For example, when I’m facilitating a group discussion after a speaker has shared, I will often start our time encouraging them to first write down on a notecard what stood out to them in the message or draw a quick picture representing this.  Even extroverts benefit from this opportunity to collect their thoughts (because writing is also a form of external processing) so when they share it tends to be more focused. But this is so key to being able to “listen” to internal processors.  I can’t tell you how many times this makes it possible to listen to what’s going on inside them.  Women who ordinarily would never share in a group will often open up when the group is conducted this way.

And it really is amazing how much more people are helped when we listen and ask questions, than when we just give answers!

3.  Introducing different ways to process

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As mentioned above, this can be as simple as having your group draw a picture or write a word or short paragraph that summarizes the key thing that stood out to them either from the message they just heard or from their Bible study that week.  Or if you’re reading the scriptures together and then discussing, it can be giving colored pencils and having them underline what stands out to them or circle key words.  Or it can be as involved as having the group art journal a page reflecting what they learned and then sharing it afterwards with the group (more information on this and examples are available at http://www.restfulheart.wordpress.com)

All of these means help people focus in on the key thing that stood out to them, narrowing down what they heard so they can more easily come up with an application.  That really is where the rubber meets the road.  It can be so powerful when people have time to process together for helping them come up with an application and then for the group to provide an opportunity for accountability – it doesn’t even have to be like drill sergeants checking up on you ~ just knowing someone is going to ask “how did it go this week?”  or “What did you experience as you sought to live out what you learned last week?” can be a powerful motivator for actually doing what’s on your heart to do.

Remember the difference between the wise and foolish builder isn’t a matter of hearing the Word!  The difference is what they do in response to it.  And it wasn’t that the wise builder got more gold stars – no!  By responding to what he heard, by actively seeking to do it, to live it out, he was laying a solid foundation for when the storms of life came.  And note it’s not “If” they come but “when!”

Yes, there can be times when it is appropriate to give advice, but I like to filter that through Ephesians 4:29 speaking “only what is helpful for building others up, according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”  Be sure to ask yourself – is this really helping them become wise?  Helping them process what they’ve already heard and move towards application?  Or am I just providing opportunity for them to “hear” more?

Whether you’re meeting one on one with someone or facilitating a group it can be so wise to keep asking yourself how much time am I talking?  And what is happening as a result?

Best part of this?  Does it ever take the pressure off you as a facilitator, discipler or mentor!  You don’t have to have all the answers!  And since no one does (according to I Corinthians 13:12 in this life we only know in part) what a relief!  All you have to do is join in with what Jesus is doing, helping them learn to listen to him – not just hear him, but respond to him and yield to him as He guides them.  And in the process, instead of remaining babes dependent on you they are learning how to walk with him and abide with him for life!

Show and Tell

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You know how Eric Liddell says, “When I run I feel His pleasure?”  For me, that happens when I’m speaking.  I’m not saying it’s a breeze to get up in front of people – with my hearing loss it’s always stretching whenever the Lord asks me to do this – but once I’m up there,  I could keep going for hours and it’s amazing how time flies… for me.

But when the shoe is on the other foot, no matter how great a speaker is, when I’m sitting there listening, it’s hard to sit for a long time!  Besides how much can you process in one sitting?!  Too much of a good thing can certainly be too much!

I think there’s a reason Eutychus’ story is included in the Bible – and not just to demonstrate God’s power to raise the dead!  (Acts 20:7-12)

In Ephesians 4:29 we’re instructed to speak “…only what is helpful for building others up, according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”  So even though it’s a joy for me to speak, I need to keep in mind what’s best for those “who listen.”

If I do what comes naturally, I can talk non-stop.  But not only can that be tiring for those listening, from an adult learning perspective it’s not the best for them learning either!

When you are meeting one on one with someone, you need to keep considering their perspective – how can they best benefit?  Now this varies from person to person, and ultimately you want to learn what’s best for them, but a good starting point can be considering what is beneficial for you as you listen.

One thing I love about teaching kids – you have to do this or you’ll soon be talking to yourself!  So I find myself seeking to be even more creative and concrete when communicating.

For example, I was recently teaching a group of missionary kids about the armor of God.  When we went over the belt of truth I didn’t just talk about it ~ we literally made belts using links of chains and a carabiner.

Then I borrowed extra large adult jeans and had the kids spar with swords while wearing them – first with the belt on so it held up their pants, then without it.  It was pretty humorous to see them discover how vital those belts can be, and how vulnerable they are without it, as pants dropped to their ankles!

Then we talked about how the most important truth you can ever know is the truth of who God is.  Because when hard times come Satan wants you fixating on the circumstances and trying to figure out why rather than clinging to the truth of who God is.

Many times, this side of heaven, you won’t figure out why – so focusing on that can really throw you off balance and make you even more vulnerable to the enemy.  But when we keep taking time to remember who God is – can that ever fortify our souls even in the darkest of trials.  And that’s not just true for kids!

We are personally going through a tough time right now and first thing, I went and got some plastic links and a carabiner from Lowes.  Every day as the Lord is revealing who He is, I write that new attribute on a link with a permanent black sharpie…

“Purposeful, Powerful, Active Refuge, Planner, Savior, Provider, Conqueror, Finisher…”

I know it may sound crazy, but even though I’m not wearing the belt (talk about a fashion statement, eh?!), making the effort to do something concrete like this is really helping me focus more during my quiet times on who God is and keep recalling this throughout the day.  And I find I’m not forgetting these quiet times like I often do if I don’t do anything with them.

Creative, concrete illustrations can be very impactful, very beneficial in helping people learn, understand and remember what you’ve talked about – it’s easier to just “tell” but God doesn’t call us to do what’s easy, but what’s beneficial for those listening.

Remember how they use to have “Show and Tell” in kindergarden?  That’s a great thing to strive for when discipling someone!