Tag Archives: Discipleship

Learning to Learn

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The original goal of a liberal arts education was to equip people so that by the time they graduated from college they would know how to study any topic on their own.  That’s why it’s called “Liberal Arts” – because the goal was to liberate people from needing someone to teach them!

Ever wonder why in college you have to take so many courses “you’re never going to use?”  It stems from this educational philosophy.  The goal wasn’t to cram content in, but to equip you with as many different learning tools possible since there are different ways of learning different topics.  Studying biology requires different tools than learning physics!

I was blessed to be discipled by Barb Choate for two years when I was in college.  But you know, Barb didn’t teach me all I needed to know for walking with Jesus these past 30 years.  What she did was lay a foundation, helping me learn how to learn from Jesus so I could keep following Him.

All those spiritual disciplines – they are not ends in themselves, but ways of learning to learn – of helping you show up for Jesus to teach you.

Having a quiet time? That’s learning to listen – a foundational part of the learning process – it all starts here!

Scripture memory?  That’s learning to remember – another key part of learning!

Fasting?  That’s learning to focus!

Praying? That’s learning to ask questions and interact with your teacher! :0)

Bible study?  That’s learning how to observe, interpret and apply!!!  Especially when you teach how to inductively study God’s Word.

So don’t feel like it all depends on you to teach someone everything they need to know when you are meeting with them. And be careful you don’t disciple in a way that promotes the person you meet with becoming dependent on you!  (btw that’s a quote from my husband!  :0) Instead, equip her with tools, helping her learn to learn from Jesus and you will be laying a foundation for a lifetime of learning!

From Diapers to Driving!

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Every Sunday morning across America, people wake up, get dressed, drive to church, sing a few songs, listen to a sermon… and leave.  Sadly many give little thought to what was heard.  Christianity in America is full of expert hearers and negligent doers.

So many people don’t get Jesus’ parable of the wise and foolish builders and think it’s about avoiding sand. (Matthew 7:24-27)  Please note, both men “heard” the Word ~ the difference was what they did with it.  But here’s the kicker, most do not naturally do something in response to what’s heard – what’s natural is to listen, smile, nod… and then forget about it.

I have found this can also be true when discipling women.  Unless there is intentional effort to walk young believers through actively applying what’s been discussed, it often goes in one ear and out the other.  Everyone needs to learn to be a doer – especially to be a faithful doer.

Nike’s “Just Do It!” ad sounds great, but the vast majority of us need help getting out the door to exercise.

Application is spiritual exercise.  It’s when we follow James’ admonition to be doers of the Word and not just hearers of it. (James 1:22)

One way I help those I meet with learn to do this is by giving them an assignment each time we meet related to what we discussed.

In the beginning I need to be directive.  That includes not just telling them what to do but also giving input on how to do it.

Now I may dialogue with them to clarify what’s workable for them, but in the beginning I prayerfully determine what the assignment is.  And I make certain the assignment is SMART:

Specific – Not vague like “Why don’t you review the verse we learned this week” but “I’d like you to review the verse we learned three times each day this week”

Measurable – You want them to be able to clearly know whether they did it or not.  For example, “I find it helpful to write out the days of the week on a 3×5 card with three boxes for each day and then have a friend listening check one off after each time she helps me review”

Accountable – I make sure they know I’m going to ask next week about this and I make it a priority to truly ask how it went at the start of our time the next week.  This is so important!!!  Do not forget to do this!  

Realistic – Not “memorize the whole Bible by next week!”  but something simple that’s do-able… like one verse?  Maybe…   This will vary from person to person!   It’s not – is it realistic for a person to be able to do this, but is it realistic to expect this particular person will do this?!!!  For example, if someone is an easily distracted procrastinator like me,  I like to take time to memorize the verse together then ask them to review on their own throughout the week – because while it may seem realistic to ask people to memorize one verse during the week, I’ve found it usually doesn’t happen unless they are highly disciplined or motivated – or not until the last minute right before your next meeting!  And rushing to learn a verse right before you start on the next one – well, you don’t really learn it that way!

Timely – Not something they’ll do ten years from now but within the next week.

So in the beginning these assignments are very discipler directed (which hopefully is totally God directed!!!) but my ultimate goal is to work myself out of a job!

As they grow I want application to become a way of life for them, something they automatically do whenever they hear or read God’s Word.  and for this to happen eventually they have to learn to not depend on someone telling them what to do.

Baby Christians need you to be direct, but ultimately the goal is to get them into the driver’s seat.  So over time, as they grow, it’s vital I gradually shift into coaching – helping them decide how they are going to apply what we discuss, because I’m not always going to be around!

When you coach, you ask a lot of questions and let them come up with the answers.  For example, “What action would you like to take this week to live out what we’ve just discussed?”  Then ask more questions to help them make it SMART!

Ultimately, I want them to come up with their own SMART applications, because that’s really where life change occurs.

As I’m doing this I’m not only helping them be wise and apply what we’ve discussed, I’m also modeling for them what application looks like.  It’s also helping them learn the importance of processing.

And the role of accountability, especially as someone is learning to do this can’t be emphasized enough!  I honestly believe this is a huge difference between hearing a message in a large group vs. one on one  – you are much more likely to act on what you hear when you know someone is going to ask you about it.

With that said, it’s vital they know this isn’t about pleasing me.  And it’s not about their value or acceptance as a person whether they do what I ask or not.  But a disciple by definition isn’t a passive learner but one who makes what they are learning their rule of conduct – one who acts on what she hears!

So giving weekly assignments that are SMART and then gradually helping someone learn how to make SMART applications on her own not only can help her become faithful in applying what she hears, but it also acts like miracle grow – taking young disciples from diapers to driving in record time!

The Power of Processing

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I’ve never been much of a scrapbooker.  I made one when Jim and I were dating, but that was years before Creative Memories and it was a rather simple affair.  But one of the girls I was meeting with loved to do this!  And as I was praying, asking the Lord what He’d like for us to do during our next time together, He gave me the idea to take her to a scrapbooking store and let her pick out materials to make one page summarizing the key thing the Lord recently was teaching her.  Little did I realize the treasure we were both in for!

She was soooo excited!  We started our time praying asking the Lord to guide us, to bring to mind what He wanted us focusing on and to help us create a picture that represented this.  It turned out most of our time that week was used just selecting supplies so I asked if she’d complete her page during the coming week and then share it with me at our next one on one and I decided I’d create one too.

Now at first I was bummed that our entire time was taken up by the selection of materials – what kind of one on one was this?  But you know, it was amazing how we both experienced the Lord even through the process of deciding what to use as well as when we had to think through the lessons we’d been learning to select one.  And then as we started putting our pages together it was like the Lord was right there with us, not only helping us create a picture of what He’d been teaching us, but the actual process of creating helped us further process and internalize that lesson even more!  And what a powerful time we experienced the next week when we shared our creations!

Shortly after this a friend shared with me how he’d been reading all the verses in the Bible that talk about remembering – and realized how incredibly key it is to take time for this.

Numbers 15:40 ESV

So you shall remember and do all my commandments, and be holy to your God.

Deuteronomy 8:2 ESV

And you shall remember the whole way that the LORD your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not.

Deuteronomy 8:18 ESV

You shall remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you power to get wealth, that he may confirm his covenant that he swore to your fathers, as it is this day.

Deuteronomy 16:12 ESV

You shall remember that you were a slave in Egypt; and you shall be careful to observe these statutes.

Deuteronomy 32:7 ESV

Remember the days of old; consider the years of many generations; ask your father, and he will show you, your elders, and they will tell you.

(And that’s but a taste!  The  word “remember” occurs 162 times in the ESV Bible!)  

Prior to this when I thought about spending time one on one with someone I was always forward focused – what’s going to help her move forward and press on in her walk with God?  But this experience really highlighted for me how vital it is we periodically take time to intentionally remember, and process deeper what the Lord is teaching us.  The irony is, taking time to look back, process and remember, really can spur us on even more!

Fast forward a few years to our sabbatical last summer.  I asked the Lord if He’d give me a creative way to remember the lessons He’d be teaching me throughout it.  That’s when He led me to art journaling.  Again I was blown away at how taking time to create a picture of what He’s teaching me helps me learn on a deeper level – and sometimes even figure out what’s going on in my heart!

And you know, this takes place in a format I actually enjoy looking back through and praying through – which only serves to help me remember even more!  (I’m a very messy writer and an external processor who writes volumes every day just to think and pray – I would never want to go back and read all of that!  But I love to look at these pictures!)**

Recently a friend asked if her Bible study could come over and art journal with me.  We paired up and shared a quiet time in Psalm 139 and then took time to create an art journal page illustrating what the Lord laid on our hearts. It was so precious to hear each woman share and “see” what she was learning!  I cannot recommend highly enough doing this!

So now, when I meet one on one with someone I will periodically take time for us to actively, creatively process what the Lord’s been teaching us.  At the end of a semester, the end of the year, the end of a Bible study ~ these are all great times to do this.

In fact, at the end of one summer training program after we’d inductively studied the book of Genesis, as a way of further processing what we’d learned I encouraged the students to go back and draw a quick sketch or do word art, featuring on an index card the main thing from each chapter that stood out to them.  Talk about a fun and insightful way to review and help summarize when finishing a Bible study!

As it says in Ecclesiastes 7:8, “The end of a matter is better than it’s beginning…”  Don’t miss out on the best part by rushing onto the next thing!  Taking time to further process and remember can enrich and deepen your relationship with the Lord, and with those you are discipling!

(**NOTE:  you can find examples of this art journaling at http://www.restfulheart.wordpress.com ~ I put this together for friends who wanted to “see” what I was doing during my sabbatical last year :0)

So God’s Name Isn’t Reviled

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Every morning when I wake up, before I get out of bed, I’ve been praying through the Lord’s prayer.  I find it’s a great way to start my day, taking a few minutes to ask for help and remember what’s most important.

This morning it hit me that very first part relates to the ultimate goal of Titus 2:3-5… “Our Father, who is in the heavens (and yes in the original Greek heaven is plural!  I love that!  It reveals even more how BIG the Lord is!) hallowed be your name.”

What am I praying at the getgo?  That God’s name will be honored and treated as holy, not just generically, but also as a result of the way I live my life as I dive into each new day.

As His daughter, as one who belongs to Him, what I do reflects upon Him.  I only wish I could say that’s always a good thing!

Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case…  when someone who knows I’m a Christian hears me being short with my husband, or when I’m frustrated and rolling my eyes because once again I’m in a hurry but in the slowest checkout line and the cashier sees the cross on my neck…. This isn’t just about Debbie having a bad day, but it really does reflect on the Lord.  And when I’m tired or a series of things have gone wrong and I get frustrated or start to feel like I’m being treated unjustly, it’s all too easy to get short and unpleasant.

Please know I’m not trying to justify, it is wrong when this happens.  But there are times it does.  And it’s sad how easily!

This is why I’ve started asking for help at the start of the day.  I see my need for Jesus to help me and grow me so I’ll live in a way that honors him.

It’s kind of like biking.  You don’t put your helmet on just when you need it.  If you wait to do this, it’s going to be too late.  But realizing that every single day I need Jesus to save me, and not just from outside problems, but from my natural selfish sin nature – I want to start out the day right away praying my desire that he will be honored and his name treated holy – by me and all around me!

And it’s not like I pray this and expect Jesus to keep me in line!  Like – ok Jesus now it’s up to you, the ball is in your court to make me behave!  No!  What I’m expressing is my desire to live in this way and since I’m not there yet, I’m really asking Him, “Do whatever you need to do to keep changing me so I can live this way!”

Honestly, God knows what we’re going to say before a word is on our tongue!  He doesn’t need our prayers to know what to do!!!  But I need prayer, because what I pray for changes me!!!

As I pray this every morning I’m reminded I don’t have what it takes, but by stating my desire to do this (and I’m not just praying this for me but also for my family, other women in my life, all believers everywhere!)  I’m motivated even more to keep growing, because I’m reminded as I do, as I grow in kindness and self control and in loving well those around me, it’s not just about me having better relationships but about repping the Lord better!

And it’s pretty neat to make the connection to Paul’s letter to Titus and realize this is a big deal for everyone!  And it is a big deal!  Check out what is written in Matthew 5:16 and 1 Peter 2:12.

“Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16

“Live such good lives among the pagans that though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day He visits us.” 1 Peter 2:1

Evangelism isn’t just telling someone the good news of the gospel!  God can be glorified, even by those who are lost, through them seeing a difference in the way we live.

Don’t just teach people to tell ~ seek to help them learn to live in a way that results in the Lord’s name being honored!  And teach them to pray so they will keep focused on desiring this and be willing to follow the Lord even when it’s hard as He grows them!

Discipling Women

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In the Bible there are a number of gray areas, things the Bible doesn’t directly address, even mysteries!  Women discipling women is not one of them.

Paul writes in Titus 2:3-5 , “Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”

Note this starts with specific instructions on how the older women themselves should live!  Discipling others always begins with being a disciple of Jesus ourself!  Then out of that will flow not just words to pass on, but “follow me as I follow Christ!”

“Older women are to teach what is good,” but Paul doesn’t stop there.  He proceeds to give seven specifics that need to be passed on in any discipling relationship where women are seeking to invest in other women.   Older women are to teach what is good and so train the young women:

* to love their husband

* to love their children

* to be self-controlled

* to be pure

* to be working at home

* to be kind

* to be submissive to their own husbands

If you are involved in discipling women and this is not a key part of what you are doing, then biblically your discipleship is deficient!  And note, he doesn’t say to train married women in these things, but young women.

The best time to train for this isn’t after marriage!  Trust me, learning to love before you get married can really help your marriage get off on a much better start!  And if you don’t learn the value of purity and how to pursue it when the heat is on before you get married you are most likely going to do major destruction to your marriage before it even starts!

And please note, Paul wouldn’t highlight these areas if they came naturally to us!

You see a cute baby pass by and think, “What’s not to love?!”  but just wait until you have your own and he’s sick and fussy and you’re sleep deprived and there’s nothing you do can make him stop crying!  It does not come naturally to be patient at that moment!

And you watch the movies and think love is just going to flow when I find the “right” guy – not realizing every single person, including yourself, struggles with a sin nature and lives in a broken and fallen world.  Just wait until your husband hurts your feelings or you start experiencing the consequences of his sin.  What comes naturally is to react in pain, anger, frustration, not to be kind.

Yet kindness is so key Paul doesn’t just leave it as a part of love (expecting readers to cross reference his first letter to the Corinthians!) but he specifically states it again.  Training in being kind is a critical part of discipleship!!!

And in truth when you go through seasons where you aren’t happy with your life, where past wounds resurface, or where you are in pain from health problems, guess what’s the first thing that usually goes out the door?!  Kindness!  What comes naturally when you’re feeling poorly – emotionally or physically – is to take it out on whoever is closest to you!  We have to learn to be kind, learn to love, learn to be self controlled… and all the rest!

There is incredible wisdom in what the Lord has revealed through Paul regarding how women should be training other women!  Don’t ignore this!

And note he calls older women to train women “to love” and “to be” ~ the focus is not on doing.  It’s so easy to get a microcosmic focus where the goal of your discipleship is to teach someone how to do scripture memory, or how to have a quiet time, or how to pray.  And there is value in each of these things, but what a difference it can make when you keep in mind, the purpose for passing these things on is not simply to be doing these things but part of something so much greater!

The reason Paul gives for teaching women so they will be trained in these seven areas is so God’s word won’t be reviled or as it says in the New King James Version blasphemed.  To revile is to assail with abusive language, to blaspheme is to speak of God in an irreverent manner.  This is what can result when women aren’t trained in these areas.

Paul doesn’t say, teach women so they’ll be trained in these areas so they can live a wonderful life!  But so God’s word and God himself aren’t spoken poorly of.  What we do, the way we live reflects on the One we belong to!  It’s not about us!

If you take time to camp out prayerfully in this verse really seeking to understand what the Lord is saying ~ is there ever wealth in here!  And key guidance for how to disciple women!

No Pain, No Gain

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I wish the way to godliness was through Bible study!

This can help lay an important foundation, but the primary way we become more like Jesus is through adversity.  That’s when those biblical truths have the opportunity to work their way into the depths of our soul and transform us.

We see the heart of a disciple so beautifully displayed in Mary’s response when the angel approaches her about giving birth to Jesus, “I am the servant of the Lord, let it be to me according to your word.” (Luke 1:38)  Talk about a willingness to follow God regardless of cost!

And did this ever prove costly!

If you take time to read the nativity story slowly and really consider what’s happening, you realize it wasn’t a very silent night!  Imagine giving birth far away from home, and if you’ve ever given birth, you know this was no cake-walk!  She had no access to any epidural or even demerol to take the edge off the pain!!!  And can you see her learning in the midst of contractions, there’s no room in the inn?!  Forget about sterile environments, your newborn gets placed in a manger, and then a bunch of scruffy shepherds crowd in?!  And that’s not even taking into account all the attempts of the enemy to destroy her – surely he wasn’t at all thrilled that she was carrying the son of God – or the hurtful things said to her due to being pregnant before the wedding!

It’s so easy to read these verses quickly, whitewashing over them, but in the middle of the story there is pain and intense emotion!

I bet Mary never dreamed how great this cost would be.  And isn’t that true for us too?  We say “yes” to following the Lord, yet are surprised when things don’t go smoothly.

When we came on staff with the Navigators, we gave up a secure income, career, being with family and friends to head in our late-thirties to a college campus to spend most of our time with people half our age.  You think in view of all the sacrifice the Lord would roll out the red carpet!

But instead we ended up homeless for a month, living like vagabonds going from house to house, then lived in a tiny, temporary home for the next few months where our dining room table was in the center of the kitchen so I had to squeeze around it to cook.

Prior to this the Lord laid it on my heart to start memorizing Psalm 119.  I was like, “Lord, that’s the longest chapter in the Bible!”  And He was like, “I know!”  When I agreed to do it, I asked, “Would you please give me music to set each of the 8 verse sections too?  That would really help!”  And he did.

During the time of our homeless adventure, I was memorizing Psalm 119: 81-88 and verse 83 jumped off the page at me, “Though I am like a wineskin in the smoke, I do not forget your decrees.”  And I wondered – what’s that about?

When I looked it up, I discovered wineskins are put in smoke to mature them faster!!!

Can’t you just hear the wineskin…  “Lord, I said I’d hold whatever wine you want to put in – but what are you doing leading me to that fire and wait…!!!”  Cough, cough, cough…  “This smoke is burning my eyes! It’s hot here!  And those flames keep getting closer!!!  Are you trying to destroy me?!”

You see, the Lord knew we needed to grow, we needed an intense faith and character stretching experience to be ready for the work He had for us, more than we needed a comfy, easy transition!

Truly what He gave grew us a ton!  And afterwards, looking back, we can clearly see it was so worth it!  But at the time…

This is why it’s so helpful to have someone walking with you through the journey!  Someone who’s been in the fire, felt the pain, experienced the intense emotions and can help prepare you for the hard times sure to come and assure you it will be worth it!

This is why cake mix discipleship is so deadly!  That’s where people are led to believe if you just do x, y, or z,  if you just follow the recipe your life is going to go great!  Beware of communicating this!  It’s so easy inadvertently to do!

There is no formula!  Unless you consider, “No pain, no gain!” Because being a disciple and becoming more like Jesus isn’t about following a formula, but following a person who is committed to transforming you as He writes a unique masterpiece in your life!

 

 

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Here is a link to one of my favorite songs related to this entitled, “Every Day”

Critical Questioning

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I cannot stress enough the power of asking questions!

So many times when people discuss discipleship, the focus is on content, what you should be telling someone.

Once when my husband was observing someone starting to learn how to disciple he was shocked to find the “discipler” talked almost nonstop the entire time!

Please understand discipleship is not about dumping content!  It is a partnership with the living God, joining in with what He is doing in the life of someone seeking to follow Him, helping them become transformed into His image as they “do” what the Lords wants them to.

It’s not about giving information as much as helping them show up for the surgery the Lord wants to do ~ but they will need to have an active part in this.  Sometimes the Lord will use the content you share, but what transforms isn’t the hearing of content, but what they do with what they hear.

Someone who talks nonstop the entire time, simply is missing the boat and not understanding this process.  Consider what Jesus taught in Matthew 7:24-27…

In what way were the wise and foolish builder the same?

They both heard the word.

The foolish builder may have enjoyed a quiet time every single day, attended church every Sunday, read multiple Christian books each week, and listened to sermons daily on his commute back and forth to work!  He may even have been discipled one on one hearing great content each week!  But according to Jesus it’s not about the hearing but what is done with it that makes the difference.  The wise man did what He heard.

So discipleship isn’t just about making it possible for people to “hear” God’s truth, but primarily about helping them “do” what they hear from the Lord.

Yes, the Lord may lead you to share a tool or a passage or something that’s been of great help to you, but even then, to do anything with what’s been heard a person needs to process and figure out how it can make a difference in her life!  And one of the best ways you can help someone process and determine how to apply is to ask questions!

What stands out to you from our discussion today?

Why did that stand out to you?

How might this make a difference in your life?

What might it look like for you to do that?

What could keep you from moving forward with this?

When do you think you could practically do this?

Is there anything in your life that needs to change so you’d have time for this?  

How can I be praying for you?

People are much more likely to “do” something they’ve had a part in devising.  Don’t just tell.  Be sure to ask lots of questions to help them process, and then to narrow down specifically how they can “do” what’s been discussed!

Then, be sure to ask more questions the next time you meet ~

“How did it go applying what we talked about?!”  

“Did you encounter any struggles or hindrances to doing this?”

“What did you learn from doing this?”

“What difference did it make in your life?”

Don’t just race onto the next topic!

Next time you’re meeting with someone, try to keep count of the number of questions you ask.  Just make a small mark or dot on a page each time you ask one.  You might be surprised at what you learn and how this simple exercise really can spur you on to ask more questions… and as you do, reveal how lifechanging and impactful this truly can be!

 

Slow and Steady…!

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In 1 Corinthians 9:24 Paul writes, “run in such a way as to get the prize.”  So many times when we think of wining a race, we think of being fast!

Yet there is a huge difference in what you need to do to win a sprint vs. winning an ultra-marathon.   As it says in Ecclesiastes 9:11 “The race doesn’t always go to the swift…”  In longer races where endurance is key, many times those in the lead at the start, finish last… if they finish at all.  Pacing is so key!

When you’re talking about becoming like Jesus – it’s like the ultra- ultramarathon… one that lasts your whole life!!!   And it is wise to take this into account when you are seeking to disciple someone.

I’ve seen people race to cover a different topic every time they meet  (eg., scripture memory one week, prayer the next, one week on evangelism, then the next week on fellowship…) rather than slowing down to give time to process, consider the topic from different angles and let it become fully a part of someone’s life in a transforming lifelong way.

I’ve also seen people burn out racing to master spiritual disciplines!  Thinking surely if I’m strong in this it will be all I need to live life well.  But discipleship isn’t a position to be attained, it’s a way of life to be entered into and pursued all your days.

But even in this it’s vital to understand, no one maintains a constant uphill progression – there are bumps in the road, steps backwards, hard times come, people get sidetracked – this is life in a broken and fallen world.

Even more than this, it’s the reality of how God created things to grow.  There are seasons we all go through.  In Psalm 1 when it pictures a person who meditates on God’s Word day and night, it presents a tree planted by streams of living water which “bears its fruit in season.”  Real fruit requires seasons to grow.  I can’t stress how vital it is to help those you disciple understand this!!!

I’ve been reading a great book by Mark Buchanan that explores this concept in depth.   It’s entitled  Spiritual Rhythm:  Being with Jesus Every Season of Your Soul.  It’s so important that we teach and model this reality with those we meet.   Throughout our lives “winters” will come on a regular basis and you aren’t going to run as fast during a winter season!  Or bear much fruit.  That’s reality.  If you try to, you will only wear yourself out or worse, miss out on growing the way Jesus wants you to.

In Romans 8:28 we are given an amazing truth about the Lord.  He “works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.”  So many times we stop at the end of the verse instead of continuing on to read it in its full context.

But vs. 29 is critical for understanding the good God is doing through all things, “For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of His son…”  This is transformation – God’s children becoming more like Jesus!  Do you realize for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose (talk about a great definition of a disciple!!!) God works ALL things for good.  And what could be more good than becoming like Him?!

I’ll never forget taking time to chart my spiritual journey.  I took four pieces of white card stock and taped them together, then drew a line across the middle of them.  Starting at the beginning of my Christian life I placed on top of the line positive times when I walked with Jesus and below the line negative times when I struggled and went my own way.  The more I struggled the farther down I placed that time, and the closer I was to Jesus the higher that went on the page.

Imagine my surprise when I connected the dots, to discover the times I struggled most in walking with God always preceded times of walking closest to Him.  It was like being on a high dive where you turn around and walk backwards so you can get more momentum once you’re running forward again!  I was totally blown away!

And you know what preceded many of those dives below the line?  Pushing too hard when I was above the line – doing too much trying to either make myself grow faster or help others do so!  It’s so easy during those times to stop answering Jesus’ invitations in Revelation 3:20 to fellowship with Him and Matthew 11:28-30 to come to Him and  find rest.  Those are both key parts of growing!

Remember being a disciple is about walking in step with Jesus.  How do you follow someone if you’re running faster than Him?  Consider what it says in 2 John 9  “Anyone who runs ahead and does not continue in the teaching of Christ, does not have God. ”

Always keep asking, “How am I doing abiding in Christ?  Is my pace compromising this?”  And be sure to consider this for those you meet with too, “Am I asking them to run too fast?!”

Don’t be like a Hamster running circles in his ball – with lots of activity not getting you anywhere!

Just like in the story of the tortoise and the hare ~ slow and steady wins the race!  Protecting time to abide, really is key for running in such a way as to get the prize!  You may not look as impressive… until you finish strong!

The Tortoise and The Hare

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A fun story to enjoy and consider…  

Can you guess what this has to do with discipleship?!  ;0)

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Once upon a time in Kalamazoo

Where the animals roam freely like people now do

There lived a lively bunny who chanced upon a scale

Weighed herself, exclaimed, “Oh my!” and thus begins this tale.

Her neighbor chanced to hear her shriek and called out, “What’s up, dear?!”

“It seems I’ve nibbled a bit too much.  My belly’s as big as my rear!”

“Oh, I can relate,” her neighbor replied.  “Slowly I’ve put it on too.

It seems over time the weight just creeps up, but I know what I’m going to do.”

“Do tell!”  said the bunny, “Won’t you come in for tea?

I’ve been baking all morning delicacies.”

“Oh no!” said the tortoise as she crept into sight

“I can’t for I started to diet last night.”

“Oh, you’re so good!  But I bet I can lose faster!

Let’s make a challenge to see who really is the diet master.”

The hare always loved a race and knew it’d make weight loss fun

Besides she was sure to win (and lose!) with her intense motivation.

So she ordered equipment and exercised away

Doing aerobics six times a day.

She always loved veggies, so ate only these:

Carrots, celery, lettuce and peas.

Mrs. Tortoise however just took it in stride

Eating four food groups, pushing dessert aside.

She also did aerobics, just three times a week

And took the stairs and walked to work and never did she peek

To see how much her weight dwindled for all her efforts done

Unlike Mrs. Hare who daily weighed at the setting of every sun

With her clothes, her shoes, her teeth and wig all carefully removed

And all air expelled from the depths of her lungs, happy only when she did lose.

Mrs. Tortoise, however, could tell deep inside

By the way her shell moved from side to side

(And by the way that Mr. Turtle

Asked if she’d bought a tighter girdle!)

One day Mrs. Hare sat in her kitchen,

Crying for she had just been caught snitchin’

By Mrs. Tortoise who’d come over to chat

And borrow the bunnies extra baseball bat!

(She now played shortstop for their winning team

The realization of a lifelong dream).

“Now friend, what’s up with you?  You’ll gain back all you’ve lost.

Before you eat more cookies, be sure you’ve counted the cost!”

“It’s just that I am so depressed.  I’ve shooting pains in every bone.”

Mrs. Hare dropped her head to the table, “I’m tired please leave me alone!”

“Alright if that’s your heart’s desire, but Saturday the weigh-in takes place.

Remember you were the one who wanted to embark on this silly race.

But I’m glad!  I feel great!  And I’m still losing!  I’m so thankful for what you’ve done!

“Oh, go hit a homerun with the children! I don’t care any more if you’ve won!”

When Saturday came the town gathered round

Shocked to discover Ms. Hare gained ten pounds,

Which all considered a great disaster

as they crowned Mrs. Tortoise, “Kalamazoo’s Diet Master!”

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Oh Baby!

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What’s the difference between follow up and discipleship?

In truth, many people lump them both under discipleship, but I find it really helps to maintain the distinction.

When someone first becomes a Christian there is a need to follow them up.  The Bible uses the metaphor of being born again, and when someone’s just been born we call them a baby.  That’s where we get the term “baby Christian.”   Whereas in discipleship the focus is on helping people grow and become more like Christ as they follow Him, when you do follow up – you are following them, just like babies aren’t expected to follow their moms and dads, their moms and dads have to follow them!!!

So there are totally different expectations going into this, as well as needs to be met!

Think about what a baby needs – to be fed, cleaned, protected, with lots of love lavished on them… Seriously, that last part is THE most important.  When babies fail to receive adequate attention and care many simply give up and die.  Those that don’t are often impacted for the rest of their lives.

But they also aren’t going to last very long if they aren’t fed.  In the very beginning you are providing the sustenance for them, and sometimes you need to be creative in helping them eat!!!

I love to have shared quiet times with baby believers – frequently!!!  In truth, in the very beginning they often get more out of what I share from my quiet time than from their own.  But before you know it they’ve grown to the place where they can start feeding themselves.  That’s why a key goal when you first start following up someone is to help them learn how to feed themselves.  Having a shared quiet time will usually be all we do together until I see them start doing this on their own (granted, I often select specific passages for us to focus on related to what’s going on in their lives!).  But after loving them, their next greatest need is to learn how to feed themselves – adequately and regularly!  (you can read more about this in the article “How to have a shared quiet time” located in the Helps! section).

The second key goal in following someone up is helping them grow in trusting God.  Of course they have to trust God to become a Christian in the first place!   But it can often be one thing to trust Him for your eternal destiny and quite another to trust Him with the details of your life today ~ especially when His ways aren’t your ways!

Helping them get to know who God is and experience Him is so very key for this occurring.  One key gift He’s given to facilitate this are His very great and precious promises!  I have found time spent helping them learn God’s promises and how to apply them in their life is a HUGE help, spurring them on in trusting Him.  (I’ve just placed a second article in the helps section entitled, “Promise Based Follow Up” which explains in more depth how you can help someone with this!)  

Discipleship begins when someone becomes a disciple – as soon as they’ve reached a key point in their walk with God where they are willing to say, “Not my will, but yours be done.”  Usually there is one issue that the Lord will highlight, a fork in the road where they have to decide, “Am I going to go my way or the Lord’s way?” followed by a time of intense wrestling (like Jacob with the angel of the Lord!) that finally ends in surrender.   It can really be helpful when first meeting with someone to share what that looked like for you and then ask if they’ve experienced anything like this.

For me that happened the summer after I became a Christian.  I’d always been incredibly ambitious, with a ten year plan already set in motion!  I was studying Broadcast Journalism and by the end of my freshman year was already the Assistant Programming Director for a local radio station.  In high school I’d hosted a television program for two years, so I was making certain I had extensive experience both in front and behind the camera.  But then the Lord called me to give up my plans and follow Him – to follow Him without knowing where or how He was going to lead.  You’d better believe I wrestled!  By mid-July I finally reached the point of surrender, writing in my Bible, “Tonight I said “Yes” to giving up my plans and following Jesus wherever He leads.”  When I got back to campus that next month I quit my job at the radio station and dropped my major, just taking general ed classes, waiting for the Lord to show me what He wanted me to do.  That was when I had a friend ask Barb if she’d disciple me!  And you better believe after making that sacrifice I was ready to do whatever the Lord (and Barb!) asked me!

In all honesty, I would not have been ready to give up my major, let alone say no to everything for a month the way Barb asked me to (see “The Challenge!” posted August 8th if you’re wondering about this story!) right after becoming a Christian!  God has a timing for all of this!  It’s like a flower blooming – you can’t try to force it without doing damage.  Your expectations for a flower just starting to form has to be different than once it’s fully opened!

I run into people all the time who get so frustrated because they are trying to disciple someone who still needs to be followed up.  “She never does what I ask her to do!” is a common complaint!  Or “I’m just not sure how serious she is.  Sometimes she’ll do exactly what she believes the Lord wants her to but other times that’s not even on her radar screen!”  That’s a key symptom of someone who is still struggling to trust God.  She trusts Him when His way is her way and it makes sense to her, but when that fork in the road comes, she’s not yet sure about giving up what she thinks is best to follow Him.

All too often, people think discipleship is about helping someone become a disciple of Jesus!  But that is the goal of follow up!  Discipleship begins once someone has become a disciple, once they are ready to follow Jesus and learn from Him – not just in a soak-things-into-your-head way, but to make his teachings “the rule of conduct for their life” – not to earn His favor, but to be with Him and increasingly become like Him.  And you don’t have to take my word for it!  The online dictionary defines discipleship as “The state of attempting to follow the example of Jesus or another leader.”  It’s not about making the decision to follow as much as once you’ve decided to follow learning how to do this!

So follow up is helping people come to the point where they are ready to head in Jesus’ direction.  Discipleship is coming alongside someone as they are heading in Jesus’ direction to help them persevere and learn what He wants them to, so they are increasingly transformed into His image for His glory!  And then able to help others in this way too!

If you can understand the goals of follow up and how they differ from the goals of discipleship can that ever help you! And them!  And save you both from a ton of frustration!

So here’s my big suggestion for the day  – Don’t expect a baby to follow you up a 14er!  And don’t get upset if she’s easily sidetracked!  Love her!  Feed her!  Help her get to know and experience Her daddy!  If you do, it shouldn’t be too long till she’s ready to start following Him – even when it involves jumping off cliffs!