Tag Archives: Prayer

Following in a Fog

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Following Jesus is hard.

And not just because He asks you to do things out of your comfort zone or because you have to give up going your way to go His.

It’s hard because you are seeking to follow someone you can’t see and frequently that can leave you wondering what in the world you’re supposed to be doing!

You see, when you call the shots it’s easy to come up with a ten year plan.  But once you say, “Not my will, but yours be done” all of a sudden you’ve handed the reigns to someone else.  You’re not in control, and He often doesn’t let you know what the next step is until right as you take it.

That can seem hard.  “I’ve given up everything to follow you!  Why don’t you make it easy?!”

Especially when there’s a decision that needs to be made.  Especially when others are chomping at the bit to know.  And let’s face it, we like to know what lies ahead!

Sometimes even as I’m doing something I’m not even certain if it’s the right thing.  But Jesus says, “Whether you turn to the right or to the left you will hear a voice behind you saying, “This is the way, walk in it.”  Did you catch that?  Sometimes it’s not until after you’re moving forward that you hear Him directing you!!!

Can that ever be scary!  Especially if we want to “get it right!”

But following Jesus is less about getting it right, than it is about being with Him.  His ways aren’t our ways!  His thoughts aren’t our thoughts.  While we’re obsessing about what we should be doing, He’s often doing something not even on our radar screen.  He often uses such times of confusion as incredible faith builders.  Will we trust Him to lead us even when it’s foggy?  Even when things are far from clear?

You see, once we realize how much better Jesus’ ways are than ours, it’s easy to slip into following Him with the motive, “I want to follow Jesus so I”ll make the right choice and life will be easier!”   I believe He sometimes allows these times of confusion to refine our motives – “Will you follow me, even when it’s hard?  Even when it means not knowing?  Even when things aren’t clear?”  Welcome to advanced faith building!

Sometimes God leads us by making the next step clear, but sometimes He leads us in the haze, guiding our steps even when we don’t realize it.  Can we follow Him during such times with a thankful heart?  Trusting Him that He really does care, that we haven’t fallen through the cracks, that even His silence can be an act of love?

Trusting Him that even if we choose wrong, He is so able to get us right where we need to be, right when we need to be there?

Or in our frenzy of trying to figure out His will (and He makes clear in Isaiah 55:8-9 the futility of trying to do this apart from Him), do we get mad at Him, frustrated because He isn’t guiding us the way we want Him to?  Or can we continue to rest in the truth of who He is, in everything giving thanks?

During times like this I so appreciate Romans 8:28, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.”

What if my focus should be, “Am I loving God?” rather than “Which decision is right?”

When I am faced with an impending decision and I’m not sure what to do, well, the temptation is always there to treat God like a dog, demanding, “Speak!”  I know I need help to not fall into this trap of disrespect.  I need to pray, but that’s when I feel especially vulnerable.  It’s so easy to obsess about the situation even as I’m praying about it!

That’s when I grab this resource:  http://www.memlok.com/adoration.pdf  What a gift this has been!!!  I fold it into fourths and take it with me as I walk and pray, focusing on who God is.  In the midst of a fog, this is what I need the most – to remember what is true about God’s character.  I can’t even begin to tell you how this helps set my heart at rest… to be reminded He is here, He really does care, He is on the throne, He is wise and good, there is purpose in all He does…

God has promised to guide us.  But He doesn’t always do it the way we’d like or the easiest way.  Can we trust Him to be faithful to His promises even in a fog?

When we do, we don’t just get where we need to be, we also get a major opportunity to grow ~ and bring Him pleasure!  (Hebrews 11:6)

Discipling Like Jesus… part 2

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So… this is the first time I’ve tried doing a blog in two parts – but I’m thinking there might be some of you who’d enjoy getting to experience first hand a taste of what I do when I’m meeting with someone one on one helping her learn how to disciple others.  I only wish I could be sitting on the couch with you doing this in person!  :0)

To get the full benefit of this, if you haven’t yet read and done part one, go check it out and after reading through Luke 11:1-13 create a chart and answer the three questions:

  1. What can you learn about discipling from this interaction between Jesus and His disciples?
  2. For each observation, consider:  Why do you think Jesus did this?
  3. How could you apply this when you are discipling the women you meet with?

There really is a ton to be learned from this passage!   Here are a few things that stood out to me!

1.  THE VALUE OF MODELING

Note this entire discourse begins with Jesus praying.  I cannot stress how vital modeling is in discipleship – it’s not just what you say!  What you do has a much greater impact!  Now Jesus wasn’t doing this just to model for the disciples, but as he prayed, did it ever capture their attention!  As we look at the Scriptures we see it was a way of life for him. Don’t just meet one on one with someone, give them opportunity to see you live out your relationship with the Lord in your daily life.

2.  CAPITALIZE ON CURIOSITY

And note this discussion was prompted by the disciples.  They observed Jesus doing this as well as John teaching his disciples and they were curious.  People learn things much better when it’s something they are interested in and want to learn.  That’s not to say there aren’t times when it’s important to cover things they may not have thought about before.  But when possible, taking time to discover what someone is curious about and focusing there can really increase the impact of the lesson.

3.  KEEP IT SIMPLE & ORGANIZED

Note how Jesus begins giving them something simple and organized, a model they can easily remember. This is so impactful.  This doesn’t include everything Jesus ever taught on prayer.  He didn’t feel like he had to cram all that could be learned into one lesson!  But is it ever a great way to start!

This is why I love to use the Look, Listen, Live it out model for teaching someone how to have a quiet time.  Not only is it easy for them to remember the next day, but it’s also easy for them to remember so they can pass it on to someone else!

There’s a fascinating book called Making Things Stick that explores how to present information in ways people will remember.  This book stresses, keeping things simple and organized can really help!  As my friend Dave Hawes says, “The more organized something is, the more passonable it is.”  and not just from you to her, but also for her to pass onto others!!!

For example I was doing a sexual purity video and had nine practical suggestions for how people who are struggling can experience victory in this area of life.  Who can remember nine suggestions?!  So I asked the Lord if He’d give me an idea for how to communicate this in a way that would stick and He brought to mind the three parts of the briar:  roots, stem, and flower.  So using a large picture of a briar, I shared three suggestions for each of the three parts!  Did that ever stick!  (no pun intended! :0)

4.  UTILIZE REPETITION & REVIEW

Note Luke 11 wasn’t the only time the Lord taught the disciples about prayer.  In Matthew 6:5-14 we see the Lord teaching the disciples to pray using this model again.  Repetition is so valuable!  Don’t just teach something once and then move on, assuming she got it.  Periodically coming back to go over something, teaching it in a bit of a different way can be so helpful!

Note in Luke 11 Jesus only teaches part of this model for prayer – in Matthew 6 we see an expanded version.  But in Luke 11 Jesus spends more time talking about the parts He does present.

5.  PROMOTE UNDERSTANDING

So first he teaches them part of a simple model, then he takes time to help them understand.  He starts with the whole, then breaks it down focusing on one key part at a time.

And He seeks to help the disciples understand the character of who they are praying too as He does this.  Just as in the Bible the main character is always God, so in your one on ones let Him be the focus.

And it’s important the one you’re meeting with understands what’s not being said, as well as what’s said.  You want to try and anticipate ways the enemy might try to twist what you’re teaching and get her off track.  For example, after Jesus instructs the disciples, “ask and it will be given to you,” He goes on to explain God only gives good gifts.  So when you ask you will receive something, and it will be good!  But you may not get exactly what you’re asking for!

Do you see how the enemy can have a heyday with this if someone is expecting to always get exactly what she asks for?

6.  HIGHLIGHT A KEY APPLICATION IDEA

And then Jesus ends highlighting the best thing they can ever ask for and be given!  Be sure to end your explanation highlighting what is most important and giving her ideas for how she can practically apply what you’ve just taught her in her daily life.

Note Jesus doesn’t exhaust them with a long dissertation on this subject.  He briefly teaches them a simple model.  Then explains what they need to know to get started and be motivated to start.

Now we don’t know what happened next.  Scripture just gives us brief snapshots, so I’m going to take the liberty to add on two more things that I’ve observed from other passages of Scripture that help me finish well when I’m meeting with someone.

7.   DO IT WITH THEM!   (Luke 9:13-17)

I have found it so helpful to not just tell people how to do something, but when I take time during our time together to do it with them – that’s when it really sticks!  This provides a great launch for getting them started!

For example, when sharing the Lord’s prayer with someone, I don’t just tell them about it, I pray through it with them!  And not rotely – remember it’s a model, not just a verbatim prayer to pray!   And as we pray through it, we take turns, with me going first, praying one phrase at a time, expanding it a bit to share what’s on our hearts that relates to each phrase.

8.  GIVE AN ASSIGNMENT  (Mark 6:7)

And then I end with an assignment such as, try praying through this model once a day for the next week (which is something I seek to do at the start of every day in my own life, right after I wake up each morning before I get out of bed and truly have found to be life changing!).

This is where the rubber meets the road – why you’re sharing this with them in the first place… so they’ll do it!

Incorporating anything new into one’s life rarely just happens!  That’s why discipleship is so helpful in the first place!  Be sure you consider not just what you’re going to tell them, but how to intentionally spur them on towards love and good deeds!

And as you do, can following Jesus’ example ever help!

Discipling Like Jesus… part 1

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One of the best ways to learn what to do with someone when you are discipling them is to look at Jesus’ life and note what he taught his disciples.  There is so much to learn from His example – not only about content but also how to pass treasure on.

For example, consider Luke 11:1-13…

Now Jesus was praying in a certain place, and when he finished, one of his disciples said to him, “Lord, teach us to pray, as John taught his disciples.”  2 And he said to them, “When you pray, say:

             “Father, hallowed be your name.

             Your kingdom come.

3              Give us each day our daily bread,

4              and forgive us our sins,

                        for we ourselves forgive everyone who is indebted to us.

             And lead us not into temptation.”

 5   And he said to them, “Which of you who has a friend will go to him at midnight and say to him, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves, 6 for a friend of mine has arrived on a journey, and I have nothing to set before him’; 7 and he will answer from within, ‘Do not bother me; the door is now shut, and my children are with me in bed. I cannot get up and give you anything’? 8 I tell you, though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, yet because of his impudence he will rise and give him whatever he needs. 9 And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. 11 What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; 12 or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? 13 If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

In a recent one on one I read this passage with a friend, then asked her to take a few moments and answer the following questions (it’s helpful if you create a chart with three columns, with one question from below heading each column):

  1. What can you learn about discipling from this interaction between Jesus and His disciples?
  2. For each observation, consider:  Why do you think Jesus did this?
  3. How could you apply this when you are discipling the women you meet with?

It’s pretty fascinating if you take the time to do this!  Why not take a few moments right now and dive in?!  ;0)

Taking Initiative

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When we first moved to Venice I prayed asking the Lord to bring into my life someone He wanted me to disciple.  Prayer is always the best way to start the journey of discipling.

Now I never see a neon sign saying “Disciple this woman.”  Instead, it’s more like it says in Isaiah 40:11, “He gently leads those who have young.”  When someone gently leads you, there is a need to be sensitive to that leading.

It’s like when you lead a blind person – you don’t hold them by the hand and yank them where they need to go.  Instead you place your hand lightly on the back of their elbow and through gentle pressure indicate if they need to go right or left.  They still have a choice whether they’ll go that way and unless they are focusing its easy to miss such cues.

Bottom line:  it’s a process that very much involves both parties.

I find this is such a great picture of the way the Lord often leads.  He doesn’t force me to go His way.  But if I’m sensitive, if I’m seeking to know and open to going the way He leads, it’s amazing how present I find He is and He is always so faithful to guide.  The more I follow Him, the more I seek to be aware of Him, the more I am learning to recognize His gentle leading.

This requires intentionality on my part.  I find when I pray, “Lord, where are you at work?  Would you please show me and give me wisdom to know how you want me to join in?”  does this ever help!

And it doesn’t usually start with Him saying “I want you to disciple this person.”  It’s more like meeting your husband.  Rarely do people know the second they lay eyes on someone, “This is who I’m going to marry.”  Relationships tend to start with small steps – a conversation, doing things together, and in the process sensing whether you should move forward in the relationship or not.

I’ll never forget going to the Harvest Festival at Venice Bible church back in 1993.  As we waited in line to get in I started talking with the woman in front of me.  Before we even reached the front door I learned she’d recently come to know Jesus and started coming to church.

When I heard that, I asked if she would like to get together so I could show her something that really helps me in my walk with the Lord.  She said yes and the next week we got together and shared a quiet time.  She was so excited!  And so eager to learn more!  So then I asked if she’d like to get together the next week and soon a beautiful discipling relationship and friendship began!

But you know, it never would’ve happened if I hadn’t taken initiative.  First to pray, then to start up a conversation as we waited in line.  Then as we talked and I heard she was a new believer, I really sensed the Lord saying, “You’ve learned something that could really benefit her.  Ask if she’d be interested in doing this with you.”

Now the hard part about asking is you never know what a person’s response will be.  They could take offense, flat out refuse or look at you as if you’re crazy… you just never know.  It’s definitely putting yourself out there for possible rejection.  For me, that’s never easy!

One time I cried out to the Lord, “I am so tired of always being the one to initiate!” and He responded, “Now you’re getting a taste of what it’s like for me!  No one seeks after me (Romans 3:11) unless I’ve taken the first step!  And even I get rejected.”

So when people respond with no, and that does happen, I have to remind myself, they aren’t rejecting me.  I am God’s ambassador!  I’m just repping Him!  Like a mailman delivering the goods.  If a package is refused it’s not about the mailman!

It’s so important I don’t personalize but instead view it as the Lord re-directing me to someone else.  In truth I only have time to invest in a limited number of women.  Jesus discipled twelve, my maximum capacity is usually four!  So it’s really a blessing when a door closes that He doesn’t want me going through!

But when someone says yes!  What a gift it is each time I get to join in with what the Lord is doing in a woman’s life.  It truly is like a front row seat getting to see Him in action transforming her!  And does it ever make the uncertainty and even refusals worth it!

So God’s Name Isn’t Reviled

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Every morning when I wake up, before I get out of bed, I’ve been praying through the Lord’s prayer.  I find it’s a great way to start my day, taking a few minutes to ask for help and remember what’s most important.

This morning it hit me that very first part relates to the ultimate goal of Titus 2:3-5… “Our Father, who is in the heavens (and yes in the original Greek heaven is plural!  I love that!  It reveals even more how BIG the Lord is!) hallowed be your name.”

What am I praying at the getgo?  That God’s name will be honored and treated as holy, not just generically, but also as a result of the way I live my life as I dive into each new day.

As His daughter, as one who belongs to Him, what I do reflects upon Him.  I only wish I could say that’s always a good thing!

Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case…  when someone who knows I’m a Christian hears me being short with my husband, or when I’m frustrated and rolling my eyes because once again I’m in a hurry but in the slowest checkout line and the cashier sees the cross on my neck…. This isn’t just about Debbie having a bad day, but it really does reflect on the Lord.  And when I’m tired or a series of things have gone wrong and I get frustrated or start to feel like I’m being treated unjustly, it’s all too easy to get short and unpleasant.

Please know I’m not trying to justify, it is wrong when this happens.  But there are times it does.  And it’s sad how easily!

This is why I’ve started asking for help at the start of the day.  I see my need for Jesus to help me and grow me so I’ll live in a way that honors him.

It’s kind of like biking.  You don’t put your helmet on just when you need it.  If you wait to do this, it’s going to be too late.  But realizing that every single day I need Jesus to save me, and not just from outside problems, but from my natural selfish sin nature – I want to start out the day right away praying my desire that he will be honored and his name treated holy – by me and all around me!

And it’s not like I pray this and expect Jesus to keep me in line!  Like – ok Jesus now it’s up to you, the ball is in your court to make me behave!  No!  What I’m expressing is my desire to live in this way and since I’m not there yet, I’m really asking Him, “Do whatever you need to do to keep changing me so I can live this way!”

Honestly, God knows what we’re going to say before a word is on our tongue!  He doesn’t need our prayers to know what to do!!!  But I need prayer, because what I pray for changes me!!!

As I pray this every morning I’m reminded I don’t have what it takes, but by stating my desire to do this (and I’m not just praying this for me but also for my family, other women in my life, all believers everywhere!)  I’m motivated even more to keep growing, because I’m reminded as I do, as I grow in kindness and self control and in loving well those around me, it’s not just about me having better relationships but about repping the Lord better!

And it’s pretty neat to make the connection to Paul’s letter to Titus and realize this is a big deal for everyone!  And it is a big deal!  Check out what is written in Matthew 5:16 and 1 Peter 2:12.

“Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16

“Live such good lives among the pagans that though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day He visits us.” 1 Peter 2:1

Evangelism isn’t just telling someone the good news of the gospel!  God can be glorified, even by those who are lost, through them seeing a difference in the way we live.

Don’t just teach people to tell ~ seek to help them learn to live in a way that results in the Lord’s name being honored!  And teach them to pray so they will keep focused on desiring this and be willing to follow the Lord even when it’s hard as He grows them!

Getting Started…

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I’ve never been a big fan of fill in the blank Bible studies.  I’d much rather dive directly into the Word and experience the joy of first hand discovery!

But there was one fill in the blank Bible study that was absolutely life changing for me:  Henry Blackaby’s Bible study entitled, Experiencing God.  A total shift in my thinking occurred while doing this study.  I went from a “do whatever your hand finds to do for the Lord is surely with you” mentality to asking, “Where are you at work Lord? And how do you want me to join in?”  And my life, and ministry, haven’t been the same since!

You see, God is always at work!  The problem is unless we’re intentionally looking (and asking!) we sure can miss it!  For just as His thoughts aren’t our thoughts, so His ways aren’t our ways!  (Isaiah 55:8-9)

I use to read Luke 2:10, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few.  Ask the Lord of the Harvest, therefore, to send out laborers into His field” and think that field must be somewhere else!  I sure didn’t see a lot going on around me.  But when I started asking the Lord that first question, “Where are you at work, Lord?”  I was blown away at how He opened my eyes!

And then when I started asking that second question, it was amazing how many opportunities to join Him in His work came my way!!!

I recently met a woman who has been a believer for years.  As we shared about our lives and I shared about the very special women I meet with, she exclaimed, “Where are you meeting these women?!”  And I responded, “They’re just around me!”

You see, one of my all time favorite promises is found in James 1:5 where we’re told, “If any of you lacks wisdom he should ask of God who gives generously to all without finding fault and it will be given to him.”  God is a generous giver!  He loves to reveal things to us ~ but we need to ask!

In your desire to start discipling women, let me encourage you, take God up on His offer by asking Him daily where He’s at work and how He wants you to join in.

Nearly every time I meet a new woman I’m asking those two questions.  Sometimes He may lay it on my heart to share a verse or pray with her and that’s all.  Other times He impresses on me to ask her over for tea, to listen more.  And sometimes He guides me to women He wants me investing in long term.

I don’t always know how He’ll direct at the beginning.  It’s more like a dance with Him leading, than an assignment I run with.  But it’s always, ALWAYS far, far better than anything I ever could come up with on my own!

And truly the best part of discipling women is how we get to experience God as we do this!