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Getting Started…

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I’ve never been a big fan of fill in the blank Bible studies.  I’d much rather dive directly into the Word and experience the joy of first hand discovery!

But there was one fill in the blank Bible study that was absolutely life changing for me:  Henry Blackaby’s Bible study entitled, Experiencing God.  A total shift in my thinking occurred while doing this study.  I went from a “do whatever your hand finds to do for the Lord is surely with you” mentality to asking, “Where are you at work Lord? And how do you want me to join in?”  And my life, and ministry, haven’t been the same since!

You see, God is always at work!  The problem is unless we’re intentionally looking (and asking!) we sure can miss it!  For just as His thoughts aren’t our thoughts, so His ways aren’t our ways!  (Isaiah 55:8-9)

I use to read Luke 2:10, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few.  Ask the Lord of the Harvest, therefore, to send out laborers into His field” and think that field must be somewhere else!  I sure didn’t see a lot going on around me.  But when I started asking the Lord that first question, “Where are you at work, Lord?”  I was blown away at how He opened my eyes!

And then when I started asking that second question, it was amazing how many opportunities to join Him in His work came my way!!!

I recently met a woman who has been a believer for years.  As we shared about our lives and I shared about the very special women I meet with, she exclaimed, “Where are you meeting these women?!”  And I responded, “They’re just around me!”

You see, one of my all time favorite promises is found in James 1:5 where we’re told, “If any of you lacks wisdom he should ask of God who gives generously to all without finding fault and it will be given to him.”  God is a generous giver!  He loves to reveal things to us ~ but we need to ask!

In your desire to start discipling women, let me encourage you, take God up on His offer by asking Him daily where He’s at work and how He wants you to join in.

Nearly every time I meet a new woman I’m asking those two questions.  Sometimes He may lay it on my heart to share a verse or pray with her and that’s all.  Other times He impresses on me to ask her over for tea, to listen more.  And sometimes He guides me to women He wants me investing in long term.

I don’t always know how He’ll direct at the beginning.  It’s more like a dance with Him leading, than an assignment I run with.  But it’s always, ALWAYS far, far better than anything I ever could come up with on my own!

And truly the best part of discipling women is how we get to experience God as we do this!

Get Real!

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Life is hard.

And being a Christian doesn’t change that.  Sometimes it even makes it harder.

Sometimes to follow Jesus you have to move to another state and leave family behind, who you really miss. Sometimes you have to sell a home and take a $100,000 loss.  Sometimes the cartilage in your knees gets torn and you struggle to walk up stairs.  And then from out of the blue your back starts hurting again.  Not just a dull ache but an intense stop-life-as-you-know-it pain.  And that’s nothing compared to the relational pain that blindsides when my sin clashes with others or when I’m the victim of their sin.

One of the best gifts I can give someone is to let them see how I struggle with the brokenness in my life and continue to persevere following Jesus.  To help them realize life isn’t a sprint, but a marathon and you will hit the wall…  multiple times.   That everyone is broken and life is hard, but what a difference the presence of Jesus makes!  That even in the midst of life’s darkest hours He is there to cry with you, carry you, help you press on and even bring good out of the worst things imaginable.

But they’ll never see that if I come across as always having it together.  In fact, one of the worst things I can do is make people think following Jesus is like a cake mix – “Get the right ingredients and it turns out great every time!”  (and yes, I was told that when I was a young Christian!).

I’ve seen so many people fall into this trap.  That everything is “fine!” and they waltz through life with a smile plastered on.  That is not reality folks!  And we don’t do anyone any favors if we perpetuate that lie.

Remember a disciple is a learner.  Learners are people who not only want to learn, they need to learn, they need to grow, they realize they are in process until the day they die!  Let those you meet with see you in process and share the journey with you as you struggle to follow Jesus.

Now I’m not saying make your one on ones gripe sessions or all about you.  Ephesians 4:29 is key to remember here. We are instructed to speak “only what is helpful for building others up, according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”  But I think it’s vital to note one of the key ways we can help build up those we are meeting with is to be open and vulnerable as the Lord directs.  They too are facing hard times, or soon will.  They need to see what it looks like to walk with Jesus through the hard seasons in life.

Be willing to be real.  That, my friends, is a thousand times more impactful that a smile-plastered-on-Bible-answer-woman any day!

Pennies or Gold?

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When you are discipling someone, which is more important:  Content or Caring?

According to 1 Corinthians 13… well, why don’t we put a discipleship spin on those first few verses and consider…

Though I have the best follow-up plans and have memorized the entire Bible, if I don’t have love, I have… NOTHING!

And though I have the wisdom of Solomon and can answer any questions someone may ask me, if I don’t have love, I have… NOTHING!  In fact, I’m just as good as an obnoxious noise that irritates everyone around me!

And even if I wear myself out for over thirty years discipling women, seeking to sacrifice all I am and have for the advancement of God’s kingdom, if I don’t have love, I have… NOTHING!

So what’s more important:  Content or caring?!

Without love, no matter what you do, it’s all worth a big zero!

But one of the most important ways we can care for someone is reflected by the content of our time with them.

You see, in Psalm 19:10 we’re told God’s Word is more precious than silver and more costly than gold.  My words, however, well… it says in Proverbs 10:19, “When words are many, sin is not absent!”  If I truly love someone, why would I want to fill up our time with my words, when we could be discussing The Word?  Why would I want to give them pennies, when bars of gold are available to share?!  Especially as God promises His Word never goes forth without accomplishing the purpose He has for it!  (Check out Isaiah 55:11)

Now this takes intentionality.  And it may seem a little awkward at first.  It’s a lot easier to just get together and chat.  But often what comes easy or what we naturally do isn’t what’s best.  Isn’t what’s loving.

So caring is most important!  But content sure can be a key part of caring!

 

NOTE:  If you want a peek at one of my favorite ways of spending a one on one with someone focusing on God’s Word, click on the Helps page and read about having a Shared Quiet Time.  Even if this was all you did for an entire year while meeting with someone, you would bless them with unbelievable treasure!  And I don’t just do this when I’m discipling someone, many times when I meet with friends I’ll suggest we share a quiet time together.  It’s amazing how a little time in the Word at the start can get you going deeper and sharing more from the heart than just chatting ever will!

The Great Discipler!

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Ever wonder how someone who has only been a Christian a few months can start discipling another woman?  It’s because she isn’t the primary discipler…. God is!  And that’s true for someone who has been a Christian for thirty years too!

The Greek word for discipling someone is μαθητευω.  It means to instruct with the purpose of making a disciple, “to become attached to one’s teacher and to become his follower in doctrine and conduct of life.”  (Spiros Zodhiates, p. 936, The Complete Word Study Dictionary).

Do you want someone becoming attached to you?  Following your doctrine and conduct in life?   Or would you rather have them following Jesus?  Becoming His disciple, learning to respond to Him as their discipler?!  As Paul says in 1 Corinthians 11:1  “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ!”

And check out what Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 3:4-9, “For when one says, ‘I follow Paul,’ and another, ‘I follow Apollos,’ are you not being merely human?  What then is Apollos?  What is Paul?  Servants through whom you believed as the Lord assigned to each.  I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth.  So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything but only God who gives the growth.”

I love how Paul emphasizes in 1 Corinthians 3: 6 and 7 that growth comes from God!  And in Ephesians 2:10 he states that we are God’s workmanship!  God is the one at work here folks!  He doesn’t need us to accomplish His purposes, but He chooses to involve us so we can experience Him as we join in with what He’s doing!  Does that ever take the pressure off!

I sure don’t know what another person needs!  Let alone where God is at work at any given moment.  However, it does require a unique approach once you truly get this!

One of my all time favorite verses for discipling (and parenting!) is found in Isaiah 40:11 where it states, “He gently leads those who have young.”  I have found this to be so true!!!

But note that God “gently” leads.

In college I took a course called “Exceptional People” where we learned about people who are handicapped (little did I realize then how pertinent this class would be!).  When we studied about blindness we learned when you want to guide a blind person you don’t grab them by the arm and yank them around.  Instead you “gently” place your hand on the inside of their elbow and apply a little pressure to indicate whether they need to go to the right or left.

I have found that to be such an accurate picture of the way the Lord usually leads.  He doesn’t yank us where we need to go.  Rather, in a gentle way, He is right there guiding us, but we need to be focused, we need to seek to be sensitive to Him guiding us or we can easily miss out… and so can those we’re meeting with.

Especially as His ways aren’t our ways (check out Isaiah 55:8&9)!  We can’t automatically know the way He’s going to lead us, let alone the way He wants to lead us as we lead someone else!!!

This is one of the key problems with discipleship programs!  It’s so easy to rely on the program or the plan and not on the Lord.

But when you do seek to be sensitive to the Lord’s leading, hold onto your head!  It will be an adventure for both of you like you’ve never before experienced!  Because as you spend time together one on one, guess what….!!!!  The Great Discipler is at work discipling both of you!  :0)

Humble Yourself…

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My friend Kathy became a Christian during high school and then went on to attend a Bible college.  She got involved with The Navigators when she transferred to her state university at the start of her Junior year.

Now she was in a Bible study where her leader had only been a Christian for two years but during that time she had been met with one on one and discipled.  When this Bible study leader asked my friend if she’d like to start meeting weekly, my friend jumped at the opportunity!

Each week they met, memorized one verse from The Navigators’ Topical Memory System and sought to apply it to their lives.  For an entire year that’s what they did.  Simple.  But you know, my friend said she grew more in that year than she had in the previous five years she’d been a Christian – including her year at Bible college!!!

And here’s the kicker – the woman discipling her had been a Christian less than half the number of years my friend had!  I think this is so key to note, because there are times when the Lord leads us to invest in women who have been Christians longer than we have, perhaps even who are older than us!  Or He may lead us to learn from someone younger than us… spiritually as well as physically!

Is my friend ever thankful she didn’t resist in pride because she’d been a Christian longer than the friend discipling her!!!  Or that her Bible study leader didn’t feel like she couldn’t offer, because she’d been a Christian fewer years.  

Because they both humbled themselves and followed Jesus, it proved life changing… for life!

In The Beginning

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I became a Christian my first week at The University of Florida.  And when the Lord rescued me from the dominion of darkness and brought me into the kingdom of the Son He loved – the difference was incredible!  Not only did I have a huge hunger for His Word, but I wanted to share about Him with anyone who’d listen!  Well, almost….

During the first week of class I was given a Public Speaking assignment to share about myself for five minutes.  As I prepared that first speech I just knew the Lord wanted me to share what had just happened to me.  I’ll admit it.  I was scared.

I was the youngest in the class which was mostly comprised of upperclassmen.  My first day in class the guy next to me shared he was 25 years old.  To this 18 year old freshman that seemed ancient!  But the Lord just kept tugging at my heart affirming this was something He wanted me to do.  Imagine my relief when I went to church that first Sunday and sitting in the row, right in front of me was my Public Speaking teacher!!!  You better believe that helped fortify my heart!

So I did it.  And I must say it was probably the worst testimony ever.  I bumbled and stumbled and really wasn’t all that certain exactly what happened to me so I’m sure whatever I shared was a bit fuzzy.  But God poured on the grace – and right away a number of those 20 somethings came up after class cheering me on and affirming me for sharing so openly about something “so personal.”  And I thought, that wasn’t really all that bad!  :0)

Well, I was so excited about all I was learning as I was reading the Bible, it really was like reading it with whole new eyes!  I so wanted to share with someone else this awesome stuff I was finding.   But again, most of the people around me were older, at least by a year or two, and when you are the new girl in town, fresh out of high school, well, that’s pretty intimidating.

But I soon met this 12 year old girl at church who was deaf and we hit it off.  She had a lot of questions and was eager to spend time together.  I had no idea what I was doing, but you know, just sharing what was impacting me from the Word, and spending time loving her, praying for her, having fun with her well, God was really at work using that.

There were some deep and difficult things she was struggling with and I felt so honored when she opened up and shared those with me.  Just like a rosebud, it was so beautiful to see her start blossoming right before my eyes.

There were two key things I learned from this:

1.  when you take time to share the treasures that are blessing you, you get blessed even more!  Trust me, my young friend wasn’t the only one growing during our times!

2.  And secondly, you really don’t have to know much to have a huge impact in someone else’s life.