Category Archives: Uncategorized

So God’s Name Isn’t Reviled

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Every morning when I wake up, before I get out of bed, I’ve been praying through the Lord’s prayer.  I find it’s a great way to start my day, taking a few minutes to ask for help and remember what’s most important.

This morning it hit me that very first part relates to the ultimate goal of Titus 2:3-5… “Our Father, who is in the heavens (and yes in the original Greek heaven is plural!  I love that!  It reveals even more how BIG the Lord is!) hallowed be your name.”

What am I praying at the getgo?  That God’s name will be honored and treated as holy, not just generically, but also as a result of the way I live my life as I dive into each new day.

As His daughter, as one who belongs to Him, what I do reflects upon Him.  I only wish I could say that’s always a good thing!

Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case…  when someone who knows I’m a Christian hears me being short with my husband, or when I’m frustrated and rolling my eyes because once again I’m in a hurry but in the slowest checkout line and the cashier sees the cross on my neck…. This isn’t just about Debbie having a bad day, but it really does reflect on the Lord.  And when I’m tired or a series of things have gone wrong and I get frustrated or start to feel like I’m being treated unjustly, it’s all too easy to get short and unpleasant.

Please know I’m not trying to justify, it is wrong when this happens.  But there are times it does.  And it’s sad how easily!

This is why I’ve started asking for help at the start of the day.  I see my need for Jesus to help me and grow me so I’ll live in a way that honors him.

It’s kind of like biking.  You don’t put your helmet on just when you need it.  If you wait to do this, it’s going to be too late.  But realizing that every single day I need Jesus to save me, and not just from outside problems, but from my natural selfish sin nature – I want to start out the day right away praying my desire that he will be honored and his name treated holy – by me and all around me!

And it’s not like I pray this and expect Jesus to keep me in line!  Like – ok Jesus now it’s up to you, the ball is in your court to make me behave!  No!  What I’m expressing is my desire to live in this way and since I’m not there yet, I’m really asking Him, “Do whatever you need to do to keep changing me so I can live this way!”

Honestly, God knows what we’re going to say before a word is on our tongue!  He doesn’t need our prayers to know what to do!!!  But I need prayer, because what I pray for changes me!!!

As I pray this every morning I’m reminded I don’t have what it takes, but by stating my desire to do this (and I’m not just praying this for me but also for my family, other women in my life, all believers everywhere!)  I’m motivated even more to keep growing, because I’m reminded as I do, as I grow in kindness and self control and in loving well those around me, it’s not just about me having better relationships but about repping the Lord better!

And it’s pretty neat to make the connection to Paul’s letter to Titus and realize this is a big deal for everyone!  And it is a big deal!  Check out what is written in Matthew 5:16 and 1 Peter 2:12.

“Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16

“Live such good lives among the pagans that though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day He visits us.” 1 Peter 2:1

Evangelism isn’t just telling someone the good news of the gospel!  God can be glorified, even by those who are lost, through them seeing a difference in the way we live.

Don’t just teach people to tell ~ seek to help them learn to live in a way that results in the Lord’s name being honored!  And teach them to pray so they will keep focused on desiring this and be willing to follow the Lord even when it’s hard as He grows them!

Discipling Women

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In the Bible there are a number of gray areas, things the Bible doesn’t directly address, even mysteries!  Women discipling women is not one of them.

Paul writes in Titus 2:3-5 , “Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”

Note this starts with specific instructions on how the older women themselves should live!  Discipling others always begins with being a disciple of Jesus ourself!  Then out of that will flow not just words to pass on, but “follow me as I follow Christ!”

“Older women are to teach what is good,” but Paul doesn’t stop there.  He proceeds to give seven specifics that need to be passed on in any discipling relationship where women are seeking to invest in other women.   Older women are to teach what is good and so train the young women:

* to love their husband

* to love their children

* to be self-controlled

* to be pure

* to be working at home

* to be kind

* to be submissive to their own husbands

If you are involved in discipling women and this is not a key part of what you are doing, then biblically your discipleship is deficient!  And note, he doesn’t say to train married women in these things, but young women.

The best time to train for this isn’t after marriage!  Trust me, learning to love before you get married can really help your marriage get off on a much better start!  And if you don’t learn the value of purity and how to pursue it when the heat is on before you get married you are most likely going to do major destruction to your marriage before it even starts!

And please note, Paul wouldn’t highlight these areas if they came naturally to us!

You see a cute baby pass by and think, “What’s not to love?!”  but just wait until you have your own and he’s sick and fussy and you’re sleep deprived and there’s nothing you do can make him stop crying!  It does not come naturally to be patient at that moment!

And you watch the movies and think love is just going to flow when I find the “right” guy – not realizing every single person, including yourself, struggles with a sin nature and lives in a broken and fallen world.  Just wait until your husband hurts your feelings or you start experiencing the consequences of his sin.  What comes naturally is to react in pain, anger, frustration, not to be kind.

Yet kindness is so key Paul doesn’t just leave it as a part of love (expecting readers to cross reference his first letter to the Corinthians!) but he specifically states it again.  Training in being kind is a critical part of discipleship!!!

And in truth when you go through seasons where you aren’t happy with your life, where past wounds resurface, or where you are in pain from health problems, guess what’s the first thing that usually goes out the door?!  Kindness!  What comes naturally when you’re feeling poorly – emotionally or physically – is to take it out on whoever is closest to you!  We have to learn to be kind, learn to love, learn to be self controlled… and all the rest!

There is incredible wisdom in what the Lord has revealed through Paul regarding how women should be training other women!  Don’t ignore this!

And note he calls older women to train women “to love” and “to be” ~ the focus is not on doing.  It’s so easy to get a microcosmic focus where the goal of your discipleship is to teach someone how to do scripture memory, or how to have a quiet time, or how to pray.  And there is value in each of these things, but what a difference it can make when you keep in mind, the purpose for passing these things on is not simply to be doing these things but part of something so much greater!

The reason Paul gives for teaching women so they will be trained in these seven areas is so God’s word won’t be reviled or as it says in the New King James Version blasphemed.  To revile is to assail with abusive language, to blaspheme is to speak of God in an irreverent manner.  This is what can result when women aren’t trained in these areas.

Paul doesn’t say, teach women so they’ll be trained in these areas so they can live a wonderful life!  But so God’s word and God himself aren’t spoken poorly of.  What we do, the way we live reflects on the One we belong to!  It’s not about us!

If you take time to camp out prayerfully in this verse really seeking to understand what the Lord is saying ~ is there ever wealth in here!  And key guidance for how to disciple women!

No Pain, No Gain

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I wish the way to godliness was through Bible study!

This can help lay an important foundation, but the primary way we become more like Jesus is through adversity.  That’s when those biblical truths have the opportunity to work their way into the depths of our soul and transform us.

We see the heart of a disciple so beautifully displayed in Mary’s response when the angel approaches her about giving birth to Jesus, “I am the servant of the Lord, let it be to me according to your word.” (Luke 1:38)  Talk about a willingness to follow God regardless of cost!

And did this ever prove costly!

If you take time to read the nativity story slowly and really consider what’s happening, you realize it wasn’t a very silent night!  Imagine giving birth far away from home, and if you’ve ever given birth, you know this was no cake-walk!  She had no access to any epidural or even demerol to take the edge off the pain!!!  And can you see her learning in the midst of contractions, there’s no room in the inn?!  Forget about sterile environments, your newborn gets placed in a manger, and then a bunch of scruffy shepherds crowd in?!  And that’s not even taking into account all the attempts of the enemy to destroy her – surely he wasn’t at all thrilled that she was carrying the son of God – or the hurtful things said to her due to being pregnant before the wedding!

It’s so easy to read these verses quickly, whitewashing over them, but in the middle of the story there is pain and intense emotion!

I bet Mary never dreamed how great this cost would be.  And isn’t that true for us too?  We say “yes” to following the Lord, yet are surprised when things don’t go smoothly.

When we came on staff with the Navigators, we gave up a secure income, career, being with family and friends to head in our late-thirties to a college campus to spend most of our time with people half our age.  You think in view of all the sacrifice the Lord would roll out the red carpet!

But instead we ended up homeless for a month, living like vagabonds going from house to house, then lived in a tiny, temporary home for the next few months where our dining room table was in the center of the kitchen so I had to squeeze around it to cook.

Prior to this the Lord laid it on my heart to start memorizing Psalm 119.  I was like, “Lord, that’s the longest chapter in the Bible!”  And He was like, “I know!”  When I agreed to do it, I asked, “Would you please give me music to set each of the 8 verse sections too?  That would really help!”  And he did.

During the time of our homeless adventure, I was memorizing Psalm 119: 81-88 and verse 83 jumped off the page at me, “Though I am like a wineskin in the smoke, I do not forget your decrees.”  And I wondered – what’s that about?

When I looked it up, I discovered wineskins are put in smoke to mature them faster!!!

Can’t you just hear the wineskin…  “Lord, I said I’d hold whatever wine you want to put in – but what are you doing leading me to that fire and wait…!!!”  Cough, cough, cough…  “This smoke is burning my eyes! It’s hot here!  And those flames keep getting closer!!!  Are you trying to destroy me?!”

You see, the Lord knew we needed to grow, we needed an intense faith and character stretching experience to be ready for the work He had for us, more than we needed a comfy, easy transition!

Truly what He gave grew us a ton!  And afterwards, looking back, we can clearly see it was so worth it!  But at the time…

This is why it’s so helpful to have someone walking with you through the journey!  Someone who’s been in the fire, felt the pain, experienced the intense emotions and can help prepare you for the hard times sure to come and assure you it will be worth it!

This is why cake mix discipleship is so deadly!  That’s where people are led to believe if you just do x, y, or z,  if you just follow the recipe your life is going to go great!  Beware of communicating this!  It’s so easy inadvertently to do!

There is no formula!  Unless you consider, “No pain, no gain!” Because being a disciple and becoming more like Jesus isn’t about following a formula, but following a person who is committed to transforming you as He writes a unique masterpiece in your life!

 

 

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Here is a link to one of my favorite songs related to this entitled, “Every Day”

It’s War!

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One of the most important questions you can ever ask when starting to meet with someone is, “What’s your story?”

And make sure she knows you don’t want the reader’s condensed version!  You want as many facts as she is comfortable sharing.

What has brought pain into her life?  Where has she struggled.  How has the Lord been at work bringing her into a relationship with Him?  And since?  Has she ever dabbled in the occult?  Or been sexually involved with someone?

These questions can reveal key things so helpful to know at the onset.  But be sure to ask gently and respectfully, and make it clear it’s ok for her to only share what she is comfortable telling.

If she has experienced severe wounding or abuse, if she’s had any prior experience with the occult, it can really help to know this not just so you can help her move forward, but so you can help prepare her for ways the enemy might try to intervene and interfere in your relationship.

Remember discipleship is about spurring people on to grow!  The enemy does not want this!  And it seems the greater his hold on someone formerly, the more desperate he will be to thwart your attempts.

I once met with a woman who had supported herself working as stripper and who had repeatedly been deeply wounded relationally as well as sexually assaulted.  The story of how the Lord reached out to her in love drawing her to Himself was absolutely amazing!  When I met her she was so eager to grow!

Yet about a month after we’d started meeting, when she heard a mutual friend share how she’d just learned the Bible says sex before marriage is wrong – she was so upset!  This was the only type of love she’d ever known and as a brand new believer she was not ready to give this up!  Right away she started withdrawing from fellowship and not being available for us to meet.  It broke my heart… how I wish I’d known to give her a heads up in advance.

While the enemy can’t keep someone from entering into a relationship with Jesus, he is so cunning in his subterfuge and efforts to undermine and interefere any way he can with her growing – which very much includes constant subtle efforts to destroy her relationship with whomever is seeking to disciple her.

It is vital you be ready for this and if possible, beat him at his game, by forewarning the woman of ways he may try to attack.

You see, when someone has traumatic or occultic experiences in her past many times there are strongholds that still remain, that need to be addressed.  This is why it’s vital you ask a person to share about her past with you, so you can attempt to prepare her for the battle that’s sure to erupt.

Too many times people read “forgetting what lies behind and pressing on towards what lies ahead…” as if there’s no need to address past wounding and strongholds.  But remember verses need to be read in context!  And in this context Paul is talking about his past achievements, not wounding!

Now people may not be willing to be open about this until they know you better – that may be one of the ways the enemy has already been at work encouraging them to build walls around their heart.  But it sure can help if you at least ask ~ and if you’re willing to share about painful things you’ve been through too!

This is why when I begin meeting with someone I will often start telling her my story first, sharing deeply about my past.  That sets the stage for her to realize here’s someone willing to be real, willing to be honest with me.  Someone who cares enough to reveal even the pain she’s been through.  And I do this after praying, asking the Lord to guide my sharing and help me speak only what’s helpful for building up the person who listens.

Then I ask her to share her story in depth – can this help launch your time in a powerfully bonding way, even if there aren’t deep issues.

But if there are, be sure to encourage her – God is a God of hope!  Nothing is too difficult for Him!  He is able to take the ugliest scars and bring beauty out of them, but there really is a battle going on and the enemy is going to do whatever he can to get her feelings hurt and try to get her to pull away from you.

If you can point this out from the getgo and encourage her, “If this happens, if I do anything or say anything that hurts you, please come to me and let’s talk because I don’t want the enemy messing with us” and warn her to be on the lookout for ways he might try to isolate her from other believers too ~ can that ever help you beat him at his game and thwart his purposes to destroy your relationship!

Critical Questioning

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I cannot stress enough the power of asking questions!

So many times when people discuss discipleship, the focus is on content, what you should be telling someone.

Once when my husband was observing someone starting to learn how to disciple he was shocked to find the “discipler” talked almost nonstop the entire time!

Please understand discipleship is not about dumping content!  It is a partnership with the living God, joining in with what He is doing in the life of someone seeking to follow Him, helping them become transformed into His image as they “do” what the Lords wants them to.

It’s not about giving information as much as helping them show up for the surgery the Lord wants to do ~ but they will need to have an active part in this.  Sometimes the Lord will use the content you share, but what transforms isn’t the hearing of content, but what they do with what they hear.

Someone who talks nonstop the entire time, simply is missing the boat and not understanding this process.  Consider what Jesus taught in Matthew 7:24-27…

In what way were the wise and foolish builder the same?

They both heard the word.

The foolish builder may have enjoyed a quiet time every single day, attended church every Sunday, read multiple Christian books each week, and listened to sermons daily on his commute back and forth to work!  He may even have been discipled one on one hearing great content each week!  But according to Jesus it’s not about the hearing but what is done with it that makes the difference.  The wise man did what He heard.

So discipleship isn’t just about making it possible for people to “hear” God’s truth, but primarily about helping them “do” what they hear from the Lord.

Yes, the Lord may lead you to share a tool or a passage or something that’s been of great help to you, but even then, to do anything with what’s been heard a person needs to process and figure out how it can make a difference in her life!  And one of the best ways you can help someone process and determine how to apply is to ask questions!

What stands out to you from our discussion today?

Why did that stand out to you?

How might this make a difference in your life?

What might it look like for you to do that?

What could keep you from moving forward with this?

When do you think you could practically do this?

Is there anything in your life that needs to change so you’d have time for this?  

How can I be praying for you?

People are much more likely to “do” something they’ve had a part in devising.  Don’t just tell.  Be sure to ask lots of questions to help them process, and then to narrow down specifically how they can “do” what’s been discussed!

Then, be sure to ask more questions the next time you meet ~

“How did it go applying what we talked about?!”  

“Did you encounter any struggles or hindrances to doing this?”

“What did you learn from doing this?”

“What difference did it make in your life?”

Don’t just race onto the next topic!

Next time you’re meeting with someone, try to keep count of the number of questions you ask.  Just make a small mark or dot on a page each time you ask one.  You might be surprised at what you learn and how this simple exercise really can spur you on to ask more questions… and as you do, reveal how lifechanging and impactful this truly can be!

 

Initiating

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So what do you do if no one is clamoring at your door for you to disciple them?!

Trust me there is a need all over the place for this!  And someone needs to start the ball rolling somewhere!  Someone needs to initiate.  More often than not, that begins with the ball in our court!

I’ll be the first to admit, it can be scary initiating with people.  You never know if they’re going to be open to doing something with you or if they are going to look at you like you’re crazy.

Especially if they aren’t in an environment where people around them, people they know, are being discipled.  The very idea may seem foreign – or never even enter their heads.  Especially if they are the same age as you or older!

Here are a few things I’ve found helpful when initiating:

1.  Keep it lowkey!

I love to start by inviting someone over for tea (or to go for coffee or frozen yogurt! ;0) and asking to hear her story.  As she shares I’m listening to hear evidence of where the Lord is at work in her life and how He might want me to join in and asking Him for wisdom to know how to do this!  God’s amazingly creative!  ;0)

Don’t start with seeking a commitment, start with relationship!

2.  Ask her to have a shared quiet time with you (see the Helps section for more info on this!).

Whether you end up getting together again or not, just passing on this one treasure is huge!  And can it ever help you go deeper in your friendship!

But I will say this – it’s still like taking a jump into an ice cold pool to initiate this.  She could say no.  She could think I’m strange.  She may misunderstand.  There is a risk whenever you initiate!  But if you sense the Lord leading you to – and when I say that, in all honesty it’s not like I see a neon sign saying “Thus saith the Lord:  Take the plunge!”  I often don’t know for sure whether I should or not – but if I even think the Lord might want me to, I take a deep breath, pray for courage and dive in.

3.  Don’t take it personally if someone doesn’t want to do this ~ or doesn’t want to do it with you!

Ephesians 2:10 states, “We are God’s workmanship created in Christ Jesus to do good works which God has prepared in advance for us to do that we might walk in them.”  This definitely includes discipleship!!!  Isn’t it wild to think the Lord has prepared in advance people for you to invest in?  It’s not – just go find someone!  But again, follow Him.

Sometimes He may lead through revealing to you directly who He wants you investing in.  Sometimes He may lead through her response!  Be gracious and thankful if someone says no!  Would you really want to do something the Lord doesn’t want you doing?

4.  Don’t expect initiating to be easy!!!

One day I was on campus – and you have to know I have a severe hearing loss, so initiating with new people is really scary for me as I never know whether I’ll be able to understand or not, or “hear wrong” and say the wrong thing in response…  So I’m crying out to the Lord, “I am so tired of always being the one to initiate!!!”  And He responded, “Now you’re getting a taste of how I feel.  No one seeks after me on their own.  I am always having to initiate!”  (Romans 3:11; 5:8)

Is this ever an opportunity to identify with Jesus and better understand what it cost Him to do what He did!

5.  Remember you don’t have to call it discipleship for discipleship to be occurring.

In truth, outside of a formal setting, it can seem weird to push to define a relationship like this.  Be content to do Hebrews 10:24, “Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.”  It’s always fun on down the road to see the lights come on when someone realizes – “Hey!  This is what you’ve been doing with me!”  Though that doesn’t always happen.  Be ok with that, knowing God sees, and that’s what matters.

6.  Discipleship is about influence and influence isn’t a given, but a gift.

Trust me, it’s not like you attain a certain place and people automatically run to be discipled by you.  There really is a huge element of the Lord at work here.  Even after thirty years of discipling women and with serving in a formal discipling ministry, I’ve been amazed at how the Lord at times intervenes to close doors when I fully intended to start meeting with someone, and how He’s redirected me when He’s wanted me meeting with someone I never planned on!

And just like I mentioned yesterday – there are seasons in our lives.  Sometimes He leads us into quieter seasons where He says – this is just for you.  Take a break from passing things on.  Treasure, ponder what I’m giving you in your heart.

So sometimes I initiate and there’s no interest or worse, a negative response.  And yes, it’s a battle when that happens to not feel rejected.  But a dear friend was just sharing with me maturity is being God-focused and other-focused, not self- focused.  When I wallow in feeling rejected or let fear keep me from following Jesus in initiating, I’m focusing on me, as if it’s all about me.

But when I do initiate, even though it’s risky, trust me, it’s because I’m focusing on God and desire His best for the other person – even if that’s not going to be me.

7.  The more you initiate the easier it becomes.

The hardest time to dive into a cold pool is the first time!  The more you do it, the more it becomes a part of your life.  It does get easier (never easy – but easier!)

Love risks.  Love initiates.  This is exactly what Jesus did with us.  If we truly want to become more like Him, initiating is a key part of that!

Slow and Steady…!

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In 1 Corinthians 9:24 Paul writes, “run in such a way as to get the prize.”  So many times when we think of wining a race, we think of being fast!

Yet there is a huge difference in what you need to do to win a sprint vs. winning an ultra-marathon.   As it says in Ecclesiastes 9:11 “The race doesn’t always go to the swift…”  In longer races where endurance is key, many times those in the lead at the start, finish last… if they finish at all.  Pacing is so key!

When you’re talking about becoming like Jesus – it’s like the ultra- ultramarathon… one that lasts your whole life!!!   And it is wise to take this into account when you are seeking to disciple someone.

I’ve seen people race to cover a different topic every time they meet  (eg., scripture memory one week, prayer the next, one week on evangelism, then the next week on fellowship…) rather than slowing down to give time to process, consider the topic from different angles and let it become fully a part of someone’s life in a transforming lifelong way.

I’ve also seen people burn out racing to master spiritual disciplines!  Thinking surely if I’m strong in this it will be all I need to live life well.  But discipleship isn’t a position to be attained, it’s a way of life to be entered into and pursued all your days.

But even in this it’s vital to understand, no one maintains a constant uphill progression – there are bumps in the road, steps backwards, hard times come, people get sidetracked – this is life in a broken and fallen world.

Even more than this, it’s the reality of how God created things to grow.  There are seasons we all go through.  In Psalm 1 when it pictures a person who meditates on God’s Word day and night, it presents a tree planted by streams of living water which “bears its fruit in season.”  Real fruit requires seasons to grow.  I can’t stress how vital it is to help those you disciple understand this!!!

I’ve been reading a great book by Mark Buchanan that explores this concept in depth.   It’s entitled  Spiritual Rhythm:  Being with Jesus Every Season of Your Soul.  It’s so important that we teach and model this reality with those we meet.   Throughout our lives “winters” will come on a regular basis and you aren’t going to run as fast during a winter season!  Or bear much fruit.  That’s reality.  If you try to, you will only wear yourself out or worse, miss out on growing the way Jesus wants you to.

In Romans 8:28 we are given an amazing truth about the Lord.  He “works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.”  So many times we stop at the end of the verse instead of continuing on to read it in its full context.

But vs. 29 is critical for understanding the good God is doing through all things, “For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of His son…”  This is transformation – God’s children becoming more like Jesus!  Do you realize for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose (talk about a great definition of a disciple!!!) God works ALL things for good.  And what could be more good than becoming like Him?!

I’ll never forget taking time to chart my spiritual journey.  I took four pieces of white card stock and taped them together, then drew a line across the middle of them.  Starting at the beginning of my Christian life I placed on top of the line positive times when I walked with Jesus and below the line negative times when I struggled and went my own way.  The more I struggled the farther down I placed that time, and the closer I was to Jesus the higher that went on the page.

Imagine my surprise when I connected the dots, to discover the times I struggled most in walking with God always preceded times of walking closest to Him.  It was like being on a high dive where you turn around and walk backwards so you can get more momentum once you’re running forward again!  I was totally blown away!

And you know what preceded many of those dives below the line?  Pushing too hard when I was above the line – doing too much trying to either make myself grow faster or help others do so!  It’s so easy during those times to stop answering Jesus’ invitations in Revelation 3:20 to fellowship with Him and Matthew 11:28-30 to come to Him and  find rest.  Those are both key parts of growing!

Remember being a disciple is about walking in step with Jesus.  How do you follow someone if you’re running faster than Him?  Consider what it says in 2 John 9  “Anyone who runs ahead and does not continue in the teaching of Christ, does not have God. ”

Always keep asking, “How am I doing abiding in Christ?  Is my pace compromising this?”  And be sure to consider this for those you meet with too, “Am I asking them to run too fast?!”

Don’t be like a Hamster running circles in his ball – with lots of activity not getting you anywhere!

Just like in the story of the tortoise and the hare ~ slow and steady wins the race!  Protecting time to abide, really is key for running in such a way as to get the prize!  You may not look as impressive… until you finish strong!

The Tortoise and The Hare

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A fun story to enjoy and consider…  

Can you guess what this has to do with discipleship?!  ;0)

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Once upon a time in Kalamazoo

Where the animals roam freely like people now do

There lived a lively bunny who chanced upon a scale

Weighed herself, exclaimed, “Oh my!” and thus begins this tale.

Her neighbor chanced to hear her shriek and called out, “What’s up, dear?!”

“It seems I’ve nibbled a bit too much.  My belly’s as big as my rear!”

“Oh, I can relate,” her neighbor replied.  “Slowly I’ve put it on too.

It seems over time the weight just creeps up, but I know what I’m going to do.”

“Do tell!”  said the bunny, “Won’t you come in for tea?

I’ve been baking all morning delicacies.”

“Oh no!” said the tortoise as she crept into sight

“I can’t for I started to diet last night.”

“Oh, you’re so good!  But I bet I can lose faster!

Let’s make a challenge to see who really is the diet master.”

The hare always loved a race and knew it’d make weight loss fun

Besides she was sure to win (and lose!) with her intense motivation.

So she ordered equipment and exercised away

Doing aerobics six times a day.

She always loved veggies, so ate only these:

Carrots, celery, lettuce and peas.

Mrs. Tortoise however just took it in stride

Eating four food groups, pushing dessert aside.

She also did aerobics, just three times a week

And took the stairs and walked to work and never did she peek

To see how much her weight dwindled for all her efforts done

Unlike Mrs. Hare who daily weighed at the setting of every sun

With her clothes, her shoes, her teeth and wig all carefully removed

And all air expelled from the depths of her lungs, happy only when she did lose.

Mrs. Tortoise, however, could tell deep inside

By the way her shell moved from side to side

(And by the way that Mr. Turtle

Asked if she’d bought a tighter girdle!)

One day Mrs. Hare sat in her kitchen,

Crying for she had just been caught snitchin’

By Mrs. Tortoise who’d come over to chat

And borrow the bunnies extra baseball bat!

(She now played shortstop for their winning team

The realization of a lifelong dream).

“Now friend, what’s up with you?  You’ll gain back all you’ve lost.

Before you eat more cookies, be sure you’ve counted the cost!”

“It’s just that I am so depressed.  I’ve shooting pains in every bone.”

Mrs. Hare dropped her head to the table, “I’m tired please leave me alone!”

“Alright if that’s your heart’s desire, but Saturday the weigh-in takes place.

Remember you were the one who wanted to embark on this silly race.

But I’m glad!  I feel great!  And I’m still losing!  I’m so thankful for what you’ve done!

“Oh, go hit a homerun with the children! I don’t care any more if you’ve won!”

When Saturday came the town gathered round

Shocked to discover Ms. Hare gained ten pounds,

Which all considered a great disaster

as they crowned Mrs. Tortoise, “Kalamazoo’s Diet Master!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

You’re Not Crazy!

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After I graduated from college my greatest need as a discipler was for someone to come along periodically and tell me “You’re Not Crazy!”

I’ll never forget when one of the girls I was discipling met a girl at the gym who was asking all sorts of spiritual questions.  She asked if I’d be willing to have dinner with them after work.  Now I’d only been married a little over a month and I was working full time.  The last thing I wanted was to spend more time away from my husband!  But five months later when this new friend entered into God’s family was I ever thankful I did!

Shortly after this I was reaching out to a student assistant who invited me to go birdwatching at the crack of dawn on Saturday mornings.  When you work full time, getting to sleep in that one morning a week is pure gold.  Again I had to leave my new husband!  At the time it was like pulling teeth to go, but when she entered the kingdom a few months later was it ever worth it!

A life seeking to spur others on to follow Jesus is not an easy way to live!  It requires intentionality and sacrifice of time, energy and resources.  On top of this, there is a great struggle as you bear the burdens of others and take part in their battles too.  Paul told the Colossians  “I want you to know how much I have agonized for you…”  (Col 2:1 NLT)  This is part of loving deeply and investing heavily in someone.  Where your treasure is, your heart is also… in both joy and pain!

When one of the girls I was meeting with shared she was emotionally involved with her boss and about to leave her husband, this led to one of the most intense battles I’ve ever engaged in.  Afterwards it was beautiful to see the way the Lord intervened to save her marriage and family – but that did not happen without grueling spiritual and emotional warfare.

Being involved in the lives of others can be exhausting!  And it’s not uncommon to wonder if you are crazy for even trying!  Especially as there aren’t many people around, not even among committed Christians, doing this.

As Paul says in 1 Corinthians 15:19 “If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied.”   He acknowledges following Jesus and helping others do so is hard!  If this life is all there is, we’re getting the short end of the stick!

What a help it can be when a friend reminds you this isn’t all there is!  When she reminds you of what’s eternal, of what awaits!  That what’s important isn’t about feeling good, or taking it easy or being comfortable in this life!  Who helps refresh your eternal perspective, reminding you it really is worth all the sacrifice!!!

Thankfully the Lord blessed me with a friend who recognized my need for this. For years she has taken initiative to get together with me, to pray for me,  to listen to how I am doing and remind me it really is worth it.

I can’t stress enough the importance of having at least one friend like this ~ and being a friend like this!  For no one who is actively involved in advancing God’s kingdom has it easy in this life!

So many times when I read what Paul wrote about being poured out like a drink offering , I think “Yep!  Been there.  Done that.  Living this right now!”

And note, Paul didn’t just write about this once!  You’ll find he mentions it in both Philippians 2:17 and 2 Timothy 4:6.  This is a common experience when you are intentionally reaching out and investing in others, seeking to advance God’s kingdom!

And it is a battle!  Without a doubt whenever someone comes to know Christ, hard things always happen in our lives – plumbing backs up, appliances stop working, our son breaks an arm…

What a blessing when a friend will come alongside to pray with us and for us, to love on us, to encourage us, as we dive into the battle as well as during it and even when we take time to rest and refresh.

And it doesn’t even have to be someone in the same town!!!  Proverbs 25:25 states, “Like cold water to a parched soul, is good news from a distant land.”  What a difference getting a real letter in the mail can make!  And now with Skype and Facetime it’s so easy to keep in touch with friends at a distance.

Every single laborer in God’s Kingdom needs this!

So be sure to take time to cultivate at least one encouraging relationship!  Don’t try to do this alone!  Ask the Lord to provide someone who will care for your heart and be there to remind you, “You’re Not Crazy!!!”

If you truly desire to labor for a life time, it’s not just worth it, it’s vital!

Will You Disciple Me?

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How would you respond if someone came up and asked you that question?

Would you rush to say yes and start setting up a weekly time?

Would you ask for time to pray about it?

Would you say no?  …change the subject?  …or just not get back to them?

How you respond reveals a lot about who you are, what you believe and what’s going on in your heart.

It can be a heady thing to have someone ask you to disciple them.  It’s definitely a compliment.  They’ve obviously seen something in your life that’s given them the desire to walk with you and learn from you.  A dear friend once shared with me there are three things that motivate people:  accomplishment, community, and influence.  I am primarily motivated by the latter!  Does that ever make me vulnerable when people ask me things like this!  So it’s good to know yourself and understand what might drive you to rush into something prematurely.

Prayer is always a great idea!  But do you have enough information to pray well about this?  If you have known the person for a long time, you very well may.  But if you don’t know them very well, I find it sure can help to get together with them once and learn more of their story, hear what’s on their heart and in truth as I’m prayerfully listening many times the Lord will reveal whether this is someone He wants me involved with.

But even if I do sense the Lord is leading me to meet with someone, I won’t rush to commit to meeting weekly with them right away.  As I mentioned in the August 11th Post “Where are You” I have found it so beneficial to start with one meeting and at the end give a copy of the “What is a Disciple study”  (Found in the Hello!  section).  Then I encourage them to contact me when this is completed.

Jesus had twelve disciples.  I find the max I can usually handle is four.  So it’s not uncommon for me to have to say no – because I simply don’t have the time.  Now saying “no” is incredibly difficult for me!!!   And in truth I’ve known many people who don’t handle this well – they either change the subject if someone asks or not return calls or even say they’ll pray about it and never get back to them.  These are not good responses!  Why?  Because you don’t love well when you do this!

Here are a couple thoughts that have really helped me learn to say “no” well:

1)  The Lord created time – it is not a limitation for Him – and there is always time to do everything He wants me doing, but not for things He doesn’t want me doing.  If I say yes to doing things He doesn’t want me doing, it will prevent me from being available for what He does want me doing.  Time is not the enemy.  But there is an enemy who delights to get me to misuse it.  As one friend once shared with me – if the enemy can’t get you to stop he’ll get you so busy you don’t do anything well.   If I overextend myself by saying yes when I shouldn’t everyone else I’m involved with will suffer, not just me!  And that certainly isn’t modeling being available very well for those I meet with is it?!!!

2)  Also, God’s best for me is always His best for everyone around me.  If He doesn’t want me discipling someone, then I’m not doing them any favors by disicpling them!  He has another plan for them!  And if I don’t follow Him in this, I can only get in the way!  It really is loving them well, when I follow Jesus’ lead and say no when He wants me to, even if it’s not what they want to hear.  By sharing this, I can say no in a way that keeps them hopeful and eagerly looking to see what He does have for them!

To really grasp these truths has helped so much with telling people no!   And the longer you disciple, the more opportunities you’re going to have to say no!  It’s vital you learn to do it well!

For whenever someone asks “Will you disciple me?”  it is a very important question – and not just for the one asking!

How you respond to the question “Will you disciple me?”  speaks volumes about how much of a disciple of Jesus you are!