Monthly Archives: August 2013

Get Ready For Grandkids!!!

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I became a grandma at the age of 23!  :0)

It happened when one of the girls I’d been discipling shared with a neighbor about Jesus.  After this neighbor came to know Him, my friend began passing on to her what we’d been doing. When I went to visit it was such a treat to meet my first grandbaby!  Imagine my surprise when I learned she was almost double my age!   Got to love the miracle of spiritual reproduction!

Paul writes to Timothy, “And the things you’ve heard me say in the presence of many witnesses, entrust to reliable men who will also be able to teach others.” 2 Timothy 2:2

There are four generations represented in that verse… can you spot them?

Now there are all sorts of organizations devoted to discipleship, and it can take many shapes and forms, but I’ve found most of them focus on just getting one generation established.  If you want to see spiritual “generations” take place there needs to be intentionality and certain things taken into consideration.  It needs to be something on your heart!  And clear in what you’re aiming towards.  It must influence what you do!

For example, I once knew a woman who many considered an amazing discipler.  She would show up for her one on ones with elaborate Bible studies and handouts.  When she met with women they did go deep into the scriptures and the content was extensive and intense!  The problem was those she met with never thought they could disciple because they couldn’t do what she did!

When you are discipling with the desire to see spiritual generations take place there is much value in adhering to the old acronym K.I.S.S.  (Keep It Simple Sweetie! :0)

And the more organized something is, the more pass-on-able it is!

This is one reason why I love to use the Look -Listen- Live it Out format for sharing a quiet time with someone.  It’s not only been life changing for me, but it’s also simple, easy to remember, and very easy to do with someone else!   (There’s an article on how to do this in the Helps section).

From the beginning of meeting with someone I seek to mention their future “children” often (eg., “When you have a shared quiet time with someone you will want to…”).  I want them to catch a vision for this, to understand this isn’t something an elect few do, but something the Lord has called all believers to do!  (Matthew 28:19)  I want them to experience the joy John writes about in 3 John 1:4 “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.”  (and note in the context John isn’t writing about his physical children, but those whom he has invested in spiritually!).

There is a special joy that comes when you intentionally join in with what the Lord is doing in the life of another believer.  And that joy is magnified when they turn around and, walking in the truth, start investing in others.

This isn’t just for the good of the next generation!  There is nothing that’s kept me pressing on after Jesus, like having younger believers whom I’m investing in.  When I’m helping them learn how to feast on the Word, does it ever spur me on to continue to do so myself!   Honest!  My best seasons of faithfully memorizing and reviewing scripture really do occur when I’m helping someone else with this!  If I want those I’m discipling to finish strong, persevering as Jesus’ disciple throughout their entire life one of the best things I can do is prepare them to disciple others!

And can you imagine the delight that will await in heaven when we get to meet all those generations who have followed?!

Don’t set your sights too low.  Don’t just disciple to help one person in one generation get on their feet.  Pray for and plan for those grandbabies, and great grandbabies and great, great grandbabies… for spiritual generations who will continue to follow Jesus as His disciples and help others do so too until the day He returns!

My Little Pink Book

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I am a creative, spontaneous, adventure loving person who takes great delight in being with people, loves to hear their stories and join in with those stories as often as I can!  :0)  But when the Lord was knitting me together in my mother’s womb, well all of those organizational and scheduling neurons never got activated (or placed there in the first place!).  It’s like that part of my brain simply doesn’t function!

Now my husband is the exact opposite of me (Seriously! In every way imaginable!  We are proof the Lord can hold any marriage together!  :0)  The good news is he got all those neurons I’m missing!  For the past 27 years he’s been trying to teach me to create “homes” for things so I’m not forever losing them!  And I’m happy to report I now have one… well, sort of… for my glasses!  Instead of losing them all the time we’re down to about 50%!  :0)  And the home for our keys helps even more!  You wouldn’t believe how much time this simple organizational trick saves me!!!!  And I sure don’t miss the stress and duress experienced when racing around to find them!  I am definitely learning the value of being organized!

And when it comes to discipling I have found keeping a record of what I do with people is unbelievably helpful!  Not only does it keep me from the embarrassment of, “Um,  I think you already shared this with me last year…”  but is it ever helpful for discerning patterns where the Lord is at work in a person’s life and at the end of our times together I can give the person I meet with an outline of what we did so she can refer back to this when she starts to meet with someone else to pass on what was passed on to her!!!

It’s just like when your kids are growing up, you think, “I’ll never forget this!”  But you do!  And she will!  If you don’t take time to write things down, it really is sad all that you forget.  So when you’re starting out discipling someone it’s easy to think, “Of course I’ll remember what we’ve done!”  Or to assume she’ll remember when she starts discipling someone else.  But especially if the Lord has you discipling someone long term – I once discipled someone for seven years  (it tends to take much longer once you’re in the work world and not in a collegiate setting).  Let me tell you there were times when I really struggled to remember if we’d covered something or not!

So here I am organizationally challenged but seeing a serious need to keep track of what I’m doing with people – you better believe I got down on my knees crying out to the Lord for wisdom!  And did he ever deliver!

He gave me the idea to get a small notebook I could keep in my purse.  At the end of my one on ones I try to stop five minutes early.  I ask the person I’m meeting with to write down the key things that stood out to her from our time together and while she is writing, I am writing… in my notebook recording what we just did!

Now this could take a number of different forms, but here’s what I’ve found most helpful:

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After recording the person’s name and the date, I write down:

Focus:  what the main focus of our time was

Verses:  where we camped out in the scriptures

Assignment:  what did I ask her to do before the next time we meet that gives her the opportunity to either process more or apply what we discussed.

Tools:  what, if any, tools did I share with her during our time together

Future Ideas:  I can’t even begin to tell you how much it helps with future planning when I jot down ideas while they are fresh in my head.

Pray:  Depending on how much time the person takes writing her summary from our time I will either write out a prayer then or later in the week spend time praying through what we did.  And as I’m praying if the Lord gives me more ideas I’ll write those down in the book too!

And let me say having the person I’m meeting with write up that summary is not just busy work for her.  After she is done, I have her share with me what she wrote and wow!  Can it ever be insightful to hear what stood out to her!  Many times it’s different from what I would’ve expected ~ and that too can help me better prepare ~ and pray! ~ for our next time together!

I cannot recommend highly enough doing this… especially if you’re organizationally challenged like me!  :0)

And yes, my little book is pink!  :0)  Go ahead, splurge and get one that brings you joy each time you look at it!  I’ve found I’m much less likely to lose it if I like it!  ;0)

The Key to Powerful and Effective Discipling!

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When discipling women, prayer is not just a nice way to end your time.    With all my heart I believe one of the most important things I ever do for those I meet with is pray for them.  1 John 5:4 states, “This is the confidence we have in approaching God, if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.  And if we know that he hears us – whatever we ask – we know that we have whatever we ask of Him.”

Is that not wonderful?!  But how can I know if what I’m asking for is truly according to God’s will for those I’m discipling?

Thankfully the Lord has not left us hanging but in His Word has given us specific examples to pray that are clearly His will.   Consider the following…

Lord, thank you for _______________ would you please give her the Spirit of wisdom and revelation so she can know you better!  Ephesians 1:17

Lord, would you please enlighten the eyes of _____________’s heart in order that she might know the hope to which you have called her! Ephesians 1:18

Lord, would you please enlighten the eyes of _____________’s heart so she can understand the riches of the glorious inheritance you have for her!  Ephesians 1:18

Lord, would you please enlighten the eyes of _____________’s heart so she can know Your incomparably great power for her as she believes!  Ephesians 1:19

Lord, would you please enable _____________ to be rooted and established in love!  Ephesians 3:15

Lord, would you give ______________ power to grasp how long and wide and high and deep your love is, so she might know this love that surpasses knowledge that she may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of You!   Ephesians 3:16-19

Lord, would you please enable ______________’s love to abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight so that she may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through you, Jesus, to the glory and praise of God!  Philippians 1:9-11

Lord, would you please work in _____________’s life so she may be filled with a knowledge of Your will, with all spiritual insight and understanding, so she may walk in a manner worthy of you Lord, fully pleasing to You, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in her knowledge of You!  Colossians 1:9-10

Lord, may ____________ be strengthened with all power according to Your glorious might so she can endure and live her life with patience and joy, having a thankful heart no matter what comes her way realizing You have already given her what matters most as You have qualified her to share in the inheritance of the saints in light!  Colossians 1:11-12

Can you imagine the difference it could make in someone’s life if you regularly asked the Lord to do this for her?

I have found it so helpful to print out the prayers of the Bible on cardstock (and note – there are many, many more prayers than I’ve listed here!!!)  and start taking them with me when I walk and pray.  Or you can write them on index cards bound with a ring and flip through them while praying.  I find this really helps me stay focused while lifting someone up before the Father’s throne.

But for praying on the spot with people I’ve found it most helpful to have these prayers memorized!  Ever since I started memorizing the prayers of the Bible it’s amazing how much more I am praying God’s Word!

In James 5:16 Scripture says, “The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”  Want to have a powerful and effective impact on someone’s life that will bless them for all eternity?

Don’t just meet with them, Pray for them!

Getting Started…

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I’ve never been a big fan of fill in the blank Bible studies.  I’d much rather dive directly into the Word and experience the joy of first hand discovery!

But there was one fill in the blank Bible study that was absolutely life changing for me:  Henry Blackaby’s Bible study entitled, Experiencing God.  A total shift in my thinking occurred while doing this study.  I went from a “do whatever your hand finds to do for the Lord is surely with you” mentality to asking, “Where are you at work Lord? And how do you want me to join in?”  And my life, and ministry, haven’t been the same since!

You see, God is always at work!  The problem is unless we’re intentionally looking (and asking!) we sure can miss it!  For just as His thoughts aren’t our thoughts, so His ways aren’t our ways!  (Isaiah 55:8-9)

I use to read Luke 2:10, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few.  Ask the Lord of the Harvest, therefore, to send out laborers into His field” and think that field must be somewhere else!  I sure didn’t see a lot going on around me.  But when I started asking the Lord that first question, “Where are you at work, Lord?”  I was blown away at how He opened my eyes!

And then when I started asking that second question, it was amazing how many opportunities to join Him in His work came my way!!!

I recently met a woman who has been a believer for years.  As we shared about our lives and I shared about the very special women I meet with, she exclaimed, “Where are you meeting these women?!”  And I responded, “They’re just around me!”

You see, one of my all time favorite promises is found in James 1:5 where we’re told, “If any of you lacks wisdom he should ask of God who gives generously to all without finding fault and it will be given to him.”  God is a generous giver!  He loves to reveal things to us ~ but we need to ask!

In your desire to start discipling women, let me encourage you, take God up on His offer by asking Him daily where He’s at work and how He wants you to join in.

Nearly every time I meet a new woman I’m asking those two questions.  Sometimes He may lay it on my heart to share a verse or pray with her and that’s all.  Other times He impresses on me to ask her over for tea, to listen more.  And sometimes He guides me to women He wants me investing in long term.

I don’t always know how He’ll direct at the beginning.  It’s more like a dance with Him leading, than an assignment I run with.  But it’s always, ALWAYS far, far better than anything I ever could come up with on my own!

And truly the best part of discipling women is how we get to experience God as we do this!

Get Real!

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Life is hard.

And being a Christian doesn’t change that.  Sometimes it even makes it harder.

Sometimes to follow Jesus you have to move to another state and leave family behind, who you really miss. Sometimes you have to sell a home and take a $100,000 loss.  Sometimes the cartilage in your knees gets torn and you struggle to walk up stairs.  And then from out of the blue your back starts hurting again.  Not just a dull ache but an intense stop-life-as-you-know-it pain.  And that’s nothing compared to the relational pain that blindsides when my sin clashes with others or when I’m the victim of their sin.

One of the best gifts I can give someone is to let them see how I struggle with the brokenness in my life and continue to persevere following Jesus.  To help them realize life isn’t a sprint, but a marathon and you will hit the wall…  multiple times.   That everyone is broken and life is hard, but what a difference the presence of Jesus makes!  That even in the midst of life’s darkest hours He is there to cry with you, carry you, help you press on and even bring good out of the worst things imaginable.

But they’ll never see that if I come across as always having it together.  In fact, one of the worst things I can do is make people think following Jesus is like a cake mix – “Get the right ingredients and it turns out great every time!”  (and yes, I was told that when I was a young Christian!).

I’ve seen so many people fall into this trap.  That everything is “fine!” and they waltz through life with a smile plastered on.  That is not reality folks!  And we don’t do anyone any favors if we perpetuate that lie.

Remember a disciple is a learner.  Learners are people who not only want to learn, they need to learn, they need to grow, they realize they are in process until the day they die!  Let those you meet with see you in process and share the journey with you as you struggle to follow Jesus.

Now I’m not saying make your one on ones gripe sessions or all about you.  Ephesians 4:29 is key to remember here. We are instructed to speak “only what is helpful for building others up, according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”  But I think it’s vital to note one of the key ways we can help build up those we are meeting with is to be open and vulnerable as the Lord directs.  They too are facing hard times, or soon will.  They need to see what it looks like to walk with Jesus through the hard seasons in life.

Be willing to be real.  That, my friends, is a thousand times more impactful that a smile-plastered-on-Bible-answer-woman any day!

Pennies or Gold?

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When you are discipling someone, which is more important:  Content or Caring?

According to 1 Corinthians 13… well, why don’t we put a discipleship spin on those first few verses and consider…

Though I have the best follow-up plans and have memorized the entire Bible, if I don’t have love, I have… NOTHING!

And though I have the wisdom of Solomon and can answer any questions someone may ask me, if I don’t have love, I have… NOTHING!  In fact, I’m just as good as an obnoxious noise that irritates everyone around me!

And even if I wear myself out for over thirty years discipling women, seeking to sacrifice all I am and have for the advancement of God’s kingdom, if I don’t have love, I have… NOTHING!

So what’s more important:  Content or caring?!

Without love, no matter what you do, it’s all worth a big zero!

But one of the most important ways we can care for someone is reflected by the content of our time with them.

You see, in Psalm 19:10 we’re told God’s Word is more precious than silver and more costly than gold.  My words, however, well… it says in Proverbs 10:19, “When words are many, sin is not absent!”  If I truly love someone, why would I want to fill up our time with my words, when we could be discussing The Word?  Why would I want to give them pennies, when bars of gold are available to share?!  Especially as God promises His Word never goes forth without accomplishing the purpose He has for it!  (Check out Isaiah 55:11)

Now this takes intentionality.  And it may seem a little awkward at first.  It’s a lot easier to just get together and chat.  But often what comes easy or what we naturally do isn’t what’s best.  Isn’t what’s loving.

So caring is most important!  But content sure can be a key part of caring!

 

NOTE:  If you want a peek at one of my favorite ways of spending a one on one with someone focusing on God’s Word, click on the Helps page and read about having a Shared Quiet Time.  Even if this was all you did for an entire year while meeting with someone, you would bless them with unbelievable treasure!  And I don’t just do this when I’m discipling someone, many times when I meet with friends I’ll suggest we share a quiet time together.  It’s amazing how a little time in the Word at the start can get you going deeper and sharing more from the heart than just chatting ever will!

The Great Discipler!

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Ever wonder how someone who has only been a Christian a few months can start discipling another woman?  It’s because she isn’t the primary discipler…. God is!  And that’s true for someone who has been a Christian for thirty years too!

The Greek word for discipling someone is μαθητευω.  It means to instruct with the purpose of making a disciple, “to become attached to one’s teacher and to become his follower in doctrine and conduct of life.”  (Spiros Zodhiates, p. 936, The Complete Word Study Dictionary).

Do you want someone becoming attached to you?  Following your doctrine and conduct in life?   Or would you rather have them following Jesus?  Becoming His disciple, learning to respond to Him as their discipler?!  As Paul says in 1 Corinthians 11:1  “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ!”

And check out what Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 3:4-9, “For when one says, ‘I follow Paul,’ and another, ‘I follow Apollos,’ are you not being merely human?  What then is Apollos?  What is Paul?  Servants through whom you believed as the Lord assigned to each.  I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth.  So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything but only God who gives the growth.”

I love how Paul emphasizes in 1 Corinthians 3: 6 and 7 that growth comes from God!  And in Ephesians 2:10 he states that we are God’s workmanship!  God is the one at work here folks!  He doesn’t need us to accomplish His purposes, but He chooses to involve us so we can experience Him as we join in with what He’s doing!  Does that ever take the pressure off!

I sure don’t know what another person needs!  Let alone where God is at work at any given moment.  However, it does require a unique approach once you truly get this!

One of my all time favorite verses for discipling (and parenting!) is found in Isaiah 40:11 where it states, “He gently leads those who have young.”  I have found this to be so true!!!

But note that God “gently” leads.

In college I took a course called “Exceptional People” where we learned about people who are handicapped (little did I realize then how pertinent this class would be!).  When we studied about blindness we learned when you want to guide a blind person you don’t grab them by the arm and yank them around.  Instead you “gently” place your hand on the inside of their elbow and apply a little pressure to indicate whether they need to go to the right or left.

I have found that to be such an accurate picture of the way the Lord usually leads.  He doesn’t yank us where we need to go.  Rather, in a gentle way, He is right there guiding us, but we need to be focused, we need to seek to be sensitive to Him guiding us or we can easily miss out… and so can those we’re meeting with.

Especially as His ways aren’t our ways (check out Isaiah 55:8&9)!  We can’t automatically know the way He’s going to lead us, let alone the way He wants to lead us as we lead someone else!!!

This is one of the key problems with discipleship programs!  It’s so easy to rely on the program or the plan and not on the Lord.

But when you do seek to be sensitive to the Lord’s leading, hold onto your head!  It will be an adventure for both of you like you’ve never before experienced!  Because as you spend time together one on one, guess what….!!!!  The Great Discipler is at work discipling both of you!  :0)